The Evolution Of A Mom

Do you make lists? To do list, goals, honey do's, work to complete, New Years Resolutions?

I used to think my Nana was crazy when I was little because she had notes everywhere, in bread boxes, in her purse, on her kitchen table.  Now that I'm a little older I completely understand why.  My memory isn't what it used to be.

With yet another birthday quickly approaching (blah), I started making a list in my head of what has happened between my 36th and almost 37th year of life.  It was pretty astounding.  I have changed a lot in the last year.  One can never know what will happen from one year to the next, however this year had expectational turns and twists.

My youngest turned 7, my middle child 10 and my oldest 12.  We celebrated my PawPaw's 87th birthday, and a milestone birthday of 40 for my husband.  We also spent another year celebrating the birth of our angel babies, Mia and Elijah with great sadness and great joy.  

In November our newest family member arrived, Buddy the Elf.  I spent many nights from Thanksgiving until Christmas trying to make Buddy more funny and more clever than the night before.  It was great fun and oh so much pressure.

Christmas was pretty much a blur however we tried to slow down as much a possible and enjoy the most wonderful time of the year.

There were snow storms (too many to count), rainy days, happy days, busy days, work days, sad days, birthday parties, family celebrations, and many more fun days that I have probably already forgotten about.

There was a milestone for our family in May when Jeff graduated from his most favorite school, Mizzou.  It was a family event as we all had to sacrifice time with dad in order for him to reach his goals and dreams.  Although he undoubtedly did all of the work. Our oldest graduated from 6th grade as well which wasn't nearly as big of deal for him than it was for his mom and dad.  

May also brought about another change as we said goodbye to my PawPaw after two years of being ill.  He was the sweetest grandpa to me and I am forever changed the day he went to be with Jesus.  I miss him more than I ever thought he could and just yesterday was brought to tears remembering him.  I have feelings of joy because I was SO BLESSED to have him as long as I did, and I know I will meet him again one day.  I learned that I could stand up and talk at his funeral and make him proud.  Me being the emotional person that I am never thought that day would come.  But I did it.  And I'm not so certain that I could have done that just a year before.

There was mounds of laundry, tons of laughs, endless days of cleaning, tears, prayers, and thankfully more exercise than the year before.

This year I have watched my dad's health decline.  He was diagnosed with Neuropathy in his feet and legs.  Which has caused him to lose over 40 pounds and be in excruciating pain a times. More than he can bare and more than I or our family could stand to watch.  He went from being independent and working to now not being able to work and needing a cane, or walker at times. Talking about learning to lean on Jesus.....well that is what my entire family is doing concerning his health at the moment. 

I learned a few more things in the last year as well.  Like I really really like Edamame and Hummus.  I have always said that I don't like sweets, however the older I get the more I'm finding that something sweet after a meal is wonderful every now and again. (However, I still don't eat adult sized portions of sweets).

I became someone that speaks her mind. ME. I can't even believe it myself.  I'm usually the person that likes to sweep things under the rug and act like conflict doesn't exist.  I learned that it's okay if I don't agree with someone and my opinion is valid.  Am I rude about it? No.  I disagree agreeably. Chances are after all I'm never going to change a persons mind anyway.  

I learned to say NO. Not normally a big deal for most, however I am a "YES" person you see.  I don't like to let people down so I would usually just say yes to everything.  But I learn to prioritize what's important and what isn't important in this season of my life.

Just recently I sat with my very sick sister in the hospital for almost a week and realized how much I didn't ever want to be without her.  I was more scared to lose her than I have ever been in my life. Not fun in the least bit, but yet part of life. 

I also learned that it's alright for mom to have dreams and goals of her own.  That it may mean sacrifice for a time for our family but if it betters our family it is worth every sacrifice.  

I was also reminded this year that no matter how much I think I have things under control I have to realize that God is the author of my life. End of story. 

Everything that I mentioned may not seem like such a big deal for you, but for me it's HUGE.  Growth. Evolution. 

I'm not writing this to brag on myself and act like I have everything figured out because I am far from that.  Growth is a beautiful albeit painful thing.  I am letting you know because if I can evolve YOU can to.  

I may start 37 with a few more grey hairs and wrinkles, but I wouldn't change what I learned this year for anything!

Have a wonderful week friends.  Embrace the evolution.

Much Love,

Marsha