There are defining moments in everyone’s life. Times that make or break you. Times of great triumph and great
despair. Times when you either become the victim or the victor.
May 13th 2008 was a defining moment for Jeff and
I. I brought Jeff lunch at the
hospital and just for fun we decided to do an Ultrasound to check on my
daughter. I was 5 months along and
we excited to see her growth.
When her picture went up on the monitor I was met with
silence. The Ultrasound tech
excused herself from the room before I realized that the silence meant no
heartbeat. Just a sweet baby
girl…..floating in my tummy. The
silence was broken by my then two year old Delaney who suddenly started crying
“Baby, GONE. Baby, GONE!” How did
she know? I still to this day
cannot figure it out. No one said
a word but she knew, at two years old.
The pit in my stomach is something I would like to forget,
but probably never will. I looked
at Jeff, and he stood their, eyes wide shaking his head in disbelief.
We were ushered to our car with a two and five year old in
tow. Sent home with a baby in my
belly that didn’t make it. Left to
pick up the pieces and figure out what was next.
I will spare you all of the details but two long days later
we checked into a hospital at 8:30 pm to deliver a baby that we knew wouldn’t
be coming home with us. The long walk down that hallway as we listened to
heartbeats and cries of newborns was gut wrenching.
My heart was broken, but the hope of seeing my sweet angel
baby before we said goodbye kept us going. I labored all into the night. I was
given drugs that made me loopy, nurses came in and “congratulated” me, and
there was a constant flow of friends and family. I finally couldn’t take it anymore. If you only had a few hours with one of
your children would you want to be on drugs that made you feel drunk? Well I
certainly didn’t so I had them take me off of everything, and I immediately
went to sleep.
I could hear Pastor Fel and Jeff talking on my left side as
I woke up and said, “She just came out.” No nurses, no traumatic delivery. Just
my Pastor, My Husband and My Sister as we welcomed sweet Mia Hope into this
world, May 16th 2008. God’s presence was THICK in that room. It was peaceful. There was an angel
among us.
Why am I writing to tell you all of this now? Because six
years ago I welcomed my baby into this world and then told her goodbye and Jeff
and I promised her we would tell every one her story. She would be remembered but not with sadness, with HOPE for
everyone that we will see her again one day. Her story mattered.
I can tell you that I didn’t know how I was going to
live. How could I take care of a
husband and three other children with such a broken heart? How could I go on
with out her?
There are some of you reading this right now going through
trials. Trials that make you want
to give up. Trials so fierce you
don’t see how you can live another day. Don’t’ let this defining moment in your
life make you the victim.
I want to tell you to keep fighting. Get on your knees and pray. Reach out
to your friends and family to help. Why? Because I believe from experience that
six years from now you can be looking back thanking God that you made it. I’m thanking God that I made it!
Sweet Mia taught us to love, HOPE, believe and dream BIG!
Would you join us as we celebrate her Birthday, May 16th? Celebrate by loving, HOPEing and
believing more and dreaming BIG!
That’s what she would want for us and that’s what God would want.
Happy Birthday Sweet Angel. Mommy and Daddy love you very much and will keep telling
your story.
