Two Years Ago My World Changed

Two years ago today I gave birth to a little Angel. Literally. Elijah Jake Hasty was born at 8:36 p.m. on April 7, 2009 and in that instant my life was forever changed.

Jeff and I said hello and goodbye in the same few hours. Something a mother and father should never have to do. But we did. We dedicated him to God and then gave him to Him.

What has the last two years looked like for us? Well, I would like to say that we are completely healed, stronger, and that we are over it. But I cannot.

To be completely healed from losing him seems impossible. I cannot ever imagine me not thinking about how old he would be, what his voice sounded like when he said “Mommy”, what his tiny kisses feel like on my cheek, or not regretting that I didn’t get to see him grow up. Does my heart hurt less, yes. I’m far from a complete healing, BUT…..I have peace when I think about him (as opposed to the terrible pain and grief that I had early on). I guess that’s progress right?

Am I stronger? Absolutely. Most days. Every now and then I just want to curl into a ball and cry wishing that I could hold him one last time. My faith is most definitely stronger. I know for a fact that there were days that God carried me through the sad times. Oh, how he loves me. Oh, how I love Him.

Am I over it? Ha. I wish. I wish. Truth is, I don’t ever want to be “over it”. I want his memory to live forever. I want you to know that I had a sweet little boy who was too precious for this earth.

I was just certain that after I lost our first baby (Jordan) and then gave birth to Mia and Elijah that God was going to use Jeff and I in a mighty way. Why would we have to go through it if he didn’t want to do something great? I saw myself ministering to people on a platform somewhere speaking HOPE (our theme through it all) into peoples’ lives. Have I done that yet? Nope. Are there days when I question what I’m supposed to be doing about it? Yep.

I guess you could say that in the past two years I’ve learned that life sometimes just plain stinks. (For lack of a better term). Stuff happens. Disappointments. Financial upsets. Death. Divorce. Illnesses. Etc. I’ve learned that life is what you make of it. Even though I’m sad I lost them I don’t think it’s fair to my children or my husband to be sad all of the time, act like the victim, and not move on a little. So, I’ve held on to the HOPE that I have in Jesus, woke up everyday thanking God for my life, tried to be a better mother and wife (as well as friend, daughter, Aunt, worker), and tried to point people to the cross as much as possible.

I don’t have it all together, nor do I ever want to appear that way.

I may not have ministered on a platform somewhere in front of thousands of people. Maybe I will one day. But maybe, just maybe, I’m supposed to minister to YOU somehow? ( I don’t know how, so if you know fill me in). Maybe it’s just by letting you know that when bad things happen there is a God there waiting for you to cling to Him. Maybe it’s to minister to my three precious kids so they know that when the unthinkable happens they can make it. Maybe I’m ministering by trying to live my life in a way that’s pleasing to God when people are watching, but even when people are not watching.

I know that there will be a day when all of my questions will be answered. I don’t even know at that point if it will matter?

But for now, I ask you to help me celebrate Elijah’s birthday. Don’t be sad. He’s not. Think about him and smile. There is a little guy in heaven watching you read this and possibly saying “Thanks for taking care of my family”.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for walking this journey with me over the past few years.

Happy Birthday Elijah! Can’t wait to see you again. From Mommy, Daddy, Emmitt, Carleigh, Delaney and all of us.

Spring Shopping Fever

I wish I had something really profound to write about today....but I don't.

The fact is I have SPRING FEVER big time.

I have been spring cleaning this house, organizing closets, and planning spring get togethers. I'm ready for the cold wintry-like days to disappear and long warm days to reappear. I'm ready to go shopping for spring clothes for me and my family.

So, in honor of my Spring Fever I thought that I would share some of my fav 2011 clothes and accessories.

Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think of them.

Marsha

I realize that I don't talk about him much...

Emmitt that is. He's my firstborn and today at 10:53 p.m. he turns 10 years old. That makes me a mom for a decade now. (How can that be because I'm so young)? HA!

I've been pondering in my heart over the past week his upcoming birthday. I wish I was one of those moms who is actually happy when they get older and do more things. That's not me. I tend to dread things. Be sad as they get older. I'm trying to find a happy medium there. I want to always cherish them being little but also be excited for the things they are becoming. (Hope that makes sense)?

Anyway...as I was thinking about him I realized that I don't talk about him too often. Certainly not as often as Carleigh lately who had her little Meteorologist Debut, or even as much as Miss Delaney who keeps us on our toes with the hilarious things that come out of her mouth.

It's because Emmitt is my quiet child. He's perfectly happy in his room for hours. When he has friends over I always think to myself...."Wow, boys are loud!" His old name suits his old soul well. He is sensitive so when he was little and doing something wrong, we could just give him a look and he would start crying. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days when he was little. He and I had 19 months together before Carleigh came along. We were buddies.

Now at 10 Emmitt has turned out to be quite an inspiration for me. He gave me a little clue at 1 year old how smart he was when I found him taking apart the battery of his ride on toy, and then another day found him removing the screws on our door to find out how it worked. Today, if I need a conversion or a fast multiplication fact, or if Carleigh has a question I find myself asking him. He's one of "those" people that can read something one time and remember it. (he gets that from his Daddy).

In the past 10 years he has been growing up and I have been also. I didn't have this parenting thing figured out when I had him and last week found myself praying the same prayer I did when the kids were little "God, give me wisdom to be their mom and do the right thing for them." Truth is, he came along at a time in my life where God was taking something that was a very bad situation and turning it into something beautiful with the birth of Emmitt. (Just as God has done many times since then).


















So today, please celebrate the birth of a very sweet boy. A boy that is going to change the world. A Star Wars loving, mac and cheese eating, Wii playing, big word using, (like..metaphorically speaking), friend loving, non-bike riding (he hates to ride his bike), Straight A getting, non team-sports playing, Lego building, God loving, sister tolerating, funny and witty 10 year old.



May he have the faith of Abraham, the boldness of Paul, a heart like David, the patience of Job, the wisdom of Solomon, the courage of Daniel, a love like John, may he be a leader like Joshua, and may he know and obey God's voice like Samuel.







Truth is........I love this boy so much I could go on for hours about him........




Happy Birthday Buddy!

Marsha

It all started with an email....

Hi friends.

I hope that you are all enjoying the warmer weather. I know our family is. We've been to church, shopping, ate lunch, painted some artwork, played Lego's, made chocolate covered strawberries and the kids have been playing outside. They are getting incredibly filthy due to the melting snow but I don't mind. We all need a good dose of fresh air!

I'm ready for SPRING and spring cleaning. I don't know about you but my carpet is the perfect shade of sludge from everyone tracking dirt in from the snow. (My dog is also the perfect shade of sludge). Just a few more weeks. I don't mind snow, however, I don't enjoy it when it lingers for so long you forget what grass looks like.

Anyway, many of you have asked how Miss Carleigh Rae ended up on the news a few days ago so I thought I would take a minute to share her story.

It all started this Christmas when she received an Art Easel and Camera. She started taping herself doing the news everyday, Emmitt would do the sports and Delaney would make the weather maps. She even came up with a name for her program called "The Hasty News Crew."

The night of the blizzard she went outside with daddy to measure how much snow we had gotten and Jeff took a picture of her. She decided to send it in to Gary Lezak of NBC Action News. I will never forget the memory of seeing her in her pj's typing an email to him on the laptop about wanting to be a meteorologist when she grows up.

About an hour later we received an email stating that her picture had been approved for their website. Great. End of story. Carleigh was on the website. NOT!

About one half hour after that we received an email from someone from the station wondering if our camera had video capability. They said "Carleigh, may be a meteorologist sooner than you think." Hmmmm? What were they up to I wondered? We emailed back saying yes of course and then sent our phone number to them. About an hour later (almost 10 pm by this point) we got a call from the station asking us to do four 30 second weather reports for the news in the morning. They told us to have her do whatever she wanted to talk about. So there we were, in our pj's, fixing her hair, writing her script, getting wardrobe ready for her big weather girl debut. She did incredibly well. Very animated and loved every single moment of it. We couldn't believe what we were doing.

We sent the videos in to them and thought that was it. We were done. Right? Nope, they emailed back asking if she would want to get up early and do a phone interview at 7:15. (By this point it was almost 2 a.m.).

We of course said yes and at 6:30 we woke her up and almost immediately they were playing her weather video. Grinning from ear to ear she did her little phone interview and again we thought we were done. Whew. What a great time. Carleigh was on the news. Fun times.

Except.....after the morning news ended they called right back. "Carleigh is a hit, could you do two more reports for the midday news?" What? She was going to be on the news again? Are you kidding me? So, we spent the better party of the morning taping her AGAIN, changing her wardrobe, and coming up with more script for the budding weather girl.

At 11:00 we watched every single minute of the show. Only to realized that they didn't use what we had sent in. What a let down. We told her to be thankful for what she got to do that morning and everything else was just a bonus. What a fun time. End of story. Right? What?

The phone rings again, NBC again. "We're sorry that we didn't get to use Carleigh's weather reports, BUT....would she want to do the news with Gary Lezak tonight for the 6 o'clock show?"

Ummmmm, CHA!

So we found ourselves for the third time in less than 24 hours taping her doing the weather. They wanted us to do it outside due to the lighting but I promise you that every time she started to talk on tape a snow blower would go by, a dog would bark or a car would honk their horn. Ugh. It was -10 wind chill and she and I are outside for TWO HOURS trying to get a one minute report. At one point we were both crying.

Needless to say we decided to come inside, we put the snow totals on the infamous art easel and she finished her report. We sent her video again, called all of our family and friends and waited for the weather at 6 o'clock.

There she was, flashing her smile, saying "Thanks, Gary!" and beaming. To say that this momma was proud would be the understatement of the year. I just kept thanking God that she got to live out a dream of hers at the tender age of 8.


Here are her weather reports. Enjoy!

http://www.nbcactionnews.com/dpp/weather/winter/video%3A-8-year-old-aspiring-meteorologist

We tried to turn the situation into a teachable moment and told her that it all started with an email. If' she wouldn't have taken the chance to send a picture of herself to NBC this would have never came about.

Since this happened I've often wondered what dreams I've missed because I didn't take a chance, or a leap of faith.

My prayer for you today is that you are encouraged by the dreams of an 8 year old. Don't miss out on your dreams by simply NOT doing something. DREAM BIG. It's the Lords desire for you. He's waiting to work in you to accomplish more than you could ever ask or think.

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power to work withing us, to
accomplish infinitely more than we could ask or think." Ephesians 3:20

Have a great sunshiney day!

Marsha

P.s. The story still isn't over. We got an email the very next day from a new magaize that's coming out in Lees Summit. It gets mailed to over 15, 000 homes. They wanted to use Carleigh as their Star Student and share her fun story. So, be watching for the March issue. The story is done and absolutley adorable. Yeah Carleigh!

2011-New Year, New Journeys, New Memories, New HOPE

Whew. It's been a while since I last wrote. I cannot believe how time flies. I've had several things that I've wanted to say but just no "time" to do it. At any rate, I've missed writing and hearing your feedback. So, I promise to try to write more this year, K?

I'm so excited for this new year, 2011. I love the promise of so many fun things to do, birthdays to celebrate, vacations, and all of the unexpected things that will happen this upcoming year.

I don't know about you but I always find myself this time of year trying to yet again get organized. I try desperately to get the house put back in order from the whirlwind called the Holidays. My goal for the first few months is to take one drawer or closet per day and make it over. I'm making progress.

I try not to make resolutions but life changes because I don't ever want to go back to a bad habit. For instance, I started this year off again with a 7 day Daniel Fast. I ended it Sunday night and I can honestly say I feel like the fast helped me to really think about the foods that I and my family put into our bodies. I reaped not only the spiritual rewards of fasting but I put nothing but water, fruits, veggies and legumes into my body for an entire week. I feel wonderful! I hope to continue to eat better and feed my family better. I no longer want to fill my body with processed sugars, fatty cheeses, sugary sodas, fatty meats and fast food. Don't get me wrong, my motto is everything in moderation. However, too much of a good thing is simply that-too much of a good thing. So, in 2011 the Hasty's are going to be eating MORE fruits and veggies, MORE whole grains, MORE of the good fats (natural Peanut Butters, beans, olive oil), drinking MORE water, and eating LESS of the stuff that's not good for you. I plan for us to all get more exercise as well. (I'll let you know how it goes, wish me luck).

So I guess the biggest news to report is that I started HOMESCHOOLING the kids this fall. I know what you are thinking....FREAK. Ha Ha. There are numerous reasons that helped us to decide to do this but the most important reason is that God told us to. Plain and simple. Can't argue with Him can I? I've found out in life to never say never. God has a sense of humor. He hears you say that and then most assuredly you end up in a situation that you would NEVER do. (Please tell me the same thing happens to you otherwise He's just playing jokes on me). I said I would NEVER home school. I felt it was too much pressure, too much responsibility, too much time, Too much! I hope to help break the home school stereotype a little. There are many people that do it for many reasons. We'll talk about it more soon, meanwhile let me know if you find a denim jumper for me would ya?

I want to leave you tonight with a scripture that's been on my heart. It helps me to remember that things are only going to get better from here. Enjoy!

'The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,' says the Lord Almighty, 'And in this place I will grant peace," declares the Lord Almighty. Haggai 2:9

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

 

Don’t say that I didn’t warn you in advance that this is going to be a long post, K?  As you may know it’s been a while since I last wrote.  Where do I begin?

I guess I will start by giving you a quick update on our little fam.  Jeff is doing wonderful with juggling home life, our new church, working a ton of hours and going back to school.  Straight A’s so far.  Way to go babe!

I’m busy as ever with field trips, teaching Jazzercise, homeschooling Miss D for Pre-School, volunteering at the kids school, babysitting for Lees Summit Community Church, serving on the Praise and Worship team at our church, and just generally trying to keep clean clothes on the kids these days.

Emmitt and Carleigh are already in “summer” mode.  They have had ice cream on our front steps at least twice this week.  And have stayed out literally until I couldn’t see them anymore because it was so dark.

Delaney is just trying to keep up with me, poor thing.  She has discovered that while I’m busy with housework she can go into Emmitt’s room and watch his TV and play his DS and he will never find out about it because he’s at school.  She’s sneaky like that!  Her freckles are coming in more and more and people comment on her hair color every day.  (You cannot get it in a bottle).

Since I last wrote we celebrated Emmitt’s birthday, buried my Grandma on my Dad’s birthday and celebrated Elijah’s birthday.  I could go on forever about my Grandma and what we have been through this past few weeks with Elijah, but I won’t tonight.  It’s still a little too hard to talk about.  I want to thank you all for your prayers, cards, emails, comments, food, and flowers!  We seriously wouldn't be as far as we are today with out the love and support of you all!

I want to comment on one last thing before I let you go for the night.  I’ve kind of been thinking about it all week.  Earlier in the week I had tucked the kids into bed and sat on my bed trying desperately to find something good to watch to unwind from the day.  (Where are my moms at?  You know the feeling of being busy all day and FINALLY getting a few minutes where you didn’t have to serve anyone food, clean anything, or even think for a little while.  My moment usually sounds like this “AHHHHH”) 

Anyway, I was little disappointed and upset that my “moment” if you will was ruined by a bunch of shows of “STARS” that we made famous for pretty bogus reasons.    One show had a former Playboy Bunny who just became a new mommy.  Another show had women who we famous for their bodies and looks.  Another show had women who were famous for being “SOCIAL”. 

What does that even mean?  Are they interesting because their husbands make a lot of money and they can shop whenever they want?  Or maybe they are famous because they wear designer clothing?  Maybe it’s because they are home all day and still need a nanny to take care of their kids?  Maybe it’s because they have changed the way they look through NUMEROUS plastic surgeries.  (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a plastic surgery hater, I’m not going to judge ANYONE for that.  I’m human, there are things about me I would love to change if I could , My problem is when you do it 6, 10, 15 times and still feel like you need to be “fixed”.) 

I guess the point that I’m trying to get to (in a total round about way) is the mere fact that God created YOU and ME for a purpose.  We don’t need to have a television show to have worth.  You are beautiful and unique and God loved you so much that he didn’t want to create ANOTHER you. You are perfect just the way that you are.  Not because of what you wear, how much money you have, or how big or little your nose is.  Be the best mommy, sister, friend, co-worker, grandma, cousin, wife, and person that you can be.  I guarantee there are others watching you when you don’t even know it. (Just like your own little show).

Let me give you a sneak peek into a new show coming up…it’s called the REAL Housewives of KC.  We start off the day waking up before everyone in the house to have quite time with the Lord, then we proceed to get ourselves and our children and husbands ready for the day.  Packing lunches, making breakfast, cleaning, laundry, more cleaning, kissing a boo boo, exercising (not with our $1,000 personal trainer who helped us loose 30 lbs just two days after we had our baby), sneaking in a bite of our kids leftover lunch because we didn’t have time to sit down (no personal chef here), bank, library, grocery store, school, park,supper, clean, homework, clean, bills, snack, clean, bath time, bedtime routine with the kids, kiss another boo boo, prayer time, story time, and finally we fall into bed only to be fully satisfied, happy, and fulfilled.  May not be a “Hollywood” story.  Probably pretty boring for some folks.  Not in the least bit predictable.  Maybe they could call it “HOLYwood”. Just a thought!

“Hey Look, I Actually DO still Blog!”

Hello Blog Family!  WOW, it’s been almost 4 months since I have blogged.  I had to take a little time off for reasons that I don’t want to mention out there on the “World Wide Web”, however, I’m happy to let you know why I had a little break from writing if you are curious.

But, I’m BAAACK! He He.

I have so much to feel you in on but I don’t want to write a 4 page blog..so I’ll just have to do it little by little.

I guess what made me want to come back again is the fact that I stopped writing and people were constantly saying “ I was reading your blog the other day…”.  I find it amazing that even though they are very old blogs, people are still taking time out of their busy day to check in with us.  I think of it as an honor.  THANK YOU all for caring enough about us to check in every now and again.

We have been on a pretty amazing adventure these past 4 months.  The holidays went way too fast, Delaney turned 4, Carleigh lost her front teeth, and now we are prepping for Emmitt’s 9th birthday.  I try every day to just savor the moment, because it’s gone in the blink of an eye.

I was up at 2:00 a.m. this morning.  I couldn’t sleep because I felt like God was giving me things to write about.  I laid their trying to go back to bed, and then I would think of something else to write about.

The main thing I wanted to mention is that Jeff and I started 2010 in prayer, fasting and reading the bible.  I was able to fast for seven days and Jeff fasted for almost 40.  (He cut it short to have Birthday cake with Miss D).  The type of fast we did is called The Daniel Fast.  If you are curious about it go to http://www.jentezenfranklin.org/fasting/danielfast.php.  It will answer any questions you may have.

Let me just tell you that before the Daniel Fast, I had never fasted longer than one day.  To fast an entire week seemed almost impossible.  But, when we started talking about it, I knew in my heart that I needed to do it.  I wanted to give God the first week of 2010. I want him to show up and show off.  I’m tired of doing the same ol’ same ol’.  I want more.  I want to take things to the next level.  I want to heal from these past 3 years.  By day 7 I felt like a new Marsha.  I felt healthier, more focused, loved, refreshed and satisfied. The only explanation as to how or why I felt that way is JESUS. 

Since the first day of 2010 God has been dealing with me to give him my first fruits.  Giving of the first fruits basically mean to give to God from a grateful heart. It sets a pattern of giving back to Him the first (and the best) of what He has given us.  In the Bible people would give God the first fruits of the Harvest as an offering to Him. I started thinking about giving him the first hour of the day, first day of the week, first week of the year. 

Over the last few weeks I have been DVRing some of my favorite Biblical programs.  (Beth Moore, Joyce Myers, Joel Osteen and Paula White).  The very first one that I sat down to watch was Paula White talking about giving God our first fruits.  I thought to myself “That’s weird, I’ve been thinking about that since January 1, 2010”.  So I listened to every word she had to say.

The very next morning I got up 30 minutes earlier than my normal time and gave it to God.  All that I can say is that the day was sooo smooth. 

The very next morning I sat down to watch someone else and guess what they said “You need to put God first”.  I thought….”Okay, that has to be a coincidence.”  So after that show ended I watched someone else that I DVR’d and guess what they talked about?  Yep, you guessed it, giving God the first of everything. 

Needless to say that the 5 shows that I randomly recorded with four different people over the past few weeks all talked about “FIRST FRUITS”. I felt like God slapped me upside the head.  Okay God, got it.  (Does He ever have to slap you like He does me sometimes?  Unfortunately sometimes that’s what it takes to get my attention). He’s still working on me!

I said all of that to say this….where is God at in your life?  I used to not find 20 minutes in my day to spend with Him because I was just TOO busy.  Yet I could get on Facebook and check everyone's status.  (You all know that can eat up 20 minutes of your day or more).  Ouch. I want to challenge you to take the first few minutes of your day to pray, read, sing, or just thank Him for all that He’s done for you.  I guarantee you will not loose those minutes that you spend with Him.  Maybe you could get up on Sunday and just give him a couple hours at Church.  I know that you would leave there feeling better than before you got there. He will supernaturally multiply your time.  How do I know?  He’s been doing it to me since the first of the year.

I’ve taken enough of your time for one day.  I pray that 2010 brings you HOPE, healing, freedom, blessings and such an outpouring of love you almost can’t contain it.

Much love,

Marsha