10 things about life that I learned from Delaney!

1. Taking something away and running from Emmitt and Carleigh is a lot more fun than just asking for it.

2. Walking around in just your "undies" is perfectly acceptable.

3. You can follow up with a question with the words "or what" and get a good reaction out of people. ie. "Are you going to give me some gum or what?"

4. A scraped knee is always a good way to get an ice cream or candy.

5. There are 4 basic food groups...candy, ice cream, snacks, and the food your mom says you HAVE to eat.

6. If you're scared, find mom and dad, they'll make it all better!

7. A nap is 55 minutes of playing in your room with the door shut, and 5 minutes of actually sleeping.

8. Mommy leaving me alone with daddy will ALWAYS result in new nail polish or make-up.

9. When your 3 years old, you can talk as loud as you want in quiet places, because your 'free' years old.!

10. If someone isn't listening to you just scream for a little while, that'll get there attention!

Wordless Thursday!

I have to believe that greater things are yet to come!

I logged onto Facebook this morning and found a link that someone had posted about the newest American Idol Winner Kris. He was singing worship at his church and I was impressed. I knew the boy had chops, but seeing him sing "There is no one like our God" made me proud of him. I choose to believe that the favor of the Lord is on him right now. My old pastor used to say "Favor Aint Fair" and I often find myself saying that when we get a good parking spot, or when we get unexpected money, or when something good happens. Anyway...the song that he was singing I've heard a probably a hundred times, but it spoke to me this morning. If you don't know the song it says "Greater things are yet to come, greater things are still to be done in the city" it also says over and over again "there is NO ONE like our God". Here is the link if you haven't seen it yet. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et9I11JCqgE.

The reason it spoke to me is because I had an emotional day yesterday. I was trying to deal with the fact that Elijah is gone, I'm not pregnant anymore, My body going crazy from being having 2 children within 11 months of each other, and I'm still a mommy and wife to everyone else while dealing with it. I feel like there are two sides to me right now. The wife and mommy which is so happy to have what I have with them. I'm so thankful that I have them to brighten my life. But...the Marsha side....the person who is all alone when the kids and Jeff are sleeping, or when I'm in the car, or when I'm doing chores around the house.....that side of me is so distraught. So upset, so emotional. I am forced to deal with things on a daily basis that NO ONE, not even my husband knows about.

I want things to be "normal" again for us, but I don't know what that means anymore. Being normal for me means coming to terms with the fact that I have had 3 beautiful healthy babies, but have to go on with life knowing that 3 of my other children are not with me anymore. I cannot sit a cry all day long for Elijah, or Mia or Jordan. I have to go on with living.

It's very hard for me to deal with such "hard" issues. I have a pretty happy go lucky attitude. I'm usually always smiling, always trying to see the bright side of life and trying to see the good in people. So dealing with such "heavy" emotions just plain SUCKS! I don't like to admit that I'm struggling. I don't like to appear that I don't have it all together yet.

I went to bed last night praying for God to make me "happy" again. I don't know how and I don't know when, but I know that it's possible to go on and not be so sad all of the time. I didn't have a great God moment, I didn't feel Him last night but I just believed. So to wake up this morning to a song saying "Greater things are yet to come" made me smile. I don't know why we have had to walk a road that I wouldn't wish on ANYONE. But I know that His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. I choose to believe, there is NO ONE like our God, and I cannot wait to see what He has in store for the Hasty's. Greater things are yet to come I'm certain of that.

Summer has officially begun at our home. The kids have been in our little pink plastic pool everyday since I pulled it out of the basement. I have no plans for the day other than letting them do whatever they would like. As I type I'm still in my pj's. One of the small joys of being a SAHM. I've included a few pics of last summer for you to enjoy.

I hope that you had an awesome Memorial Day! I'm so thankful for the men and women who laid down their life for my freedom. Emmitt and Carleigh and I talked about why we celebrate and then watched a nice tribute on PBS last night. I hope that they remember what we talked about and watched when they are older. I hope they appreciate our service men and women as much as Jeff and I. BTW...Jeff finished the CD in honor of Memorial Day and had it playing all day. I'm sure that he'll add more for the 4th of July. A few songs on it are, Lee Greenwood singing "Proud to be an American", Whitney Houston singing "The Star Spangled Banner" and another version of that song by the one and only KISS. (All on rock guitar). Pretty funny, pretty cheesy, pretty patriotic don't you think?

What a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could write for hours about how I feel tonight. I won't however because I'm just plain drained. This week was CCCCRRRRRAAAAAAZZZZZZZYYYY! It started off with a huge bang last Friday night. Literally. Jeff, Emmitt, Dad and Tom ended up at the Royals game while the girls did some shopping therapy. However, it stormed really bad that night and the guys didn't end up watching said game until almost 10:00 because of the rain. When us girls got home from the mall around 10:00 we came home to no electricity at the house. Lovely. So I sent the girls home with mom and dad and Angie and I sat and chatted via candlelight. When the power came back on Angie and I started working on Mia's blog. Only to discover that the hard drive that had ALL of our pictures on it got hit by lightening. Not the computer, not the monitor, but the most precious part of the computer to us. All of our kids birthdays, Christmas's, any and every picture was GONE!!!! We have backed them up before, but just not recently. So we tried not to completely freak out. (Okay I did freak out, but I tried not to).

Anyway, then Saturday was Mia's birthday. It was a busy day for us because Emmitt had a football game that morning and Carleigh had practice for an upcoming dance performance that afternoon. I cried on and off all day, but held it together better than I thought that I would.

The rest of the week thus far has been filled with Appointments, Field Days, End of the year parties and Kindergarten Graduation. Talk about an emotional week. I wish that I was one of those moms that is happy as their children get older and like to watch them "grow up". Me, however, I cry at almost everything. I want to keep them little FOREVER. God's working on me about that. The longer I have them, the more I understand that they are just on loan from above. It's almost Friday and I'm happy to say that we have almost made it through.

With all of the business of the week, Jeff and I have also had a few upsets. I don't understand why when you are down, and hanging on for dear life, everything around you seems to go wrong as well. Our finances have been hit this week, our dreams have been hit this week, and we find ourselves just trying to "make it". I don't want to just "make it". I want more! I want beauty for ashes, hope for despair, gladness for mourning, strength for fear. I want it ALL. (Now I'm singing that song from HSM...I want it all!). We're still clinging to the HOPE that we have in Jesus Christ.

Thank God that children are so resilient. They keep going which keeps us going. Many have asked how Jeff and I's relationship is after loosing yet a third baby. The truth, we are closer now more than ever. If I would have known as a teenager all that we have gone through in our marriage I don't know what I would have done. We have been through some STUFF! But we truly love each other, he still gives me butterflies and we agree more than not about how to raise our children in a Godly home, yet keeping them "normal" . (Don't know if that makes sense to you?) I love the fact that when the kids are in bed Jeff and I sit and chat and laugh about things that only he and I would get.

The kids have had a great week non the less. I look forward to what summer holds for our family. I'm thinking Popsicles on the swings, catching lightening bugs, hanging out in our tent, late nights, BBQ's, lazy days at the pool, lots of movies, trips to zoos, museums, and parks, fireworks, golf, and soaking up the SON. Jeff's already working on his patriotic music CD for July 4th. It's hard to be sad when you have that to look forward to. Right? God BLESS America!

Ni-Night for now!

Marsha

P.S. We were able to recover all of our pictures. God is good!

We can say goodbye with HOPE- because we know goodbye is not the end!

I started this blog today to share with you our life at the Hasty household. However, today's very first blog is dedicated to my sweet angel Mia Hope.

Where do I begin? First by saying Happy Birthday Mia Hope Hasty! One year ago today we joyfully and sadly said hello and goodbye in the same breath! A lot has happened since then and I'll eventually share that in later posts.

This blog has been one year in the making. I've thought about writing one for a while now, but never felt the release to do it until now. I thought I would honor Mia's birthday by sharing a new chapter/blog in our lives. I honestly didn't think that people would be too interested in the everyday goings on in our lives until just recently. In light of recent events, I feel compelled to write about all that God is doing and has done and share the HOPE that we have in Him.

Most of you know that last May 16th I was 5 1/2 months pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who we named Mia Hope. The meaning of Mia is "wished for". The meaning of Hope is "to trust in the future". So that's what we have been doing this past year. Wishing and Hoping and Trusting in the future. Please take the next few minutes to read a letter that has helped in the healing process.

A Letter To My Daughter

Sweet Mia,

I cannot believe that it has been a year already since we got to hold you. I miss you now more than ever. I often close my eyes and remember exactly what you looked like and even the way you smelled. You were the sweetest and littlest baby that I had ever seen. I've said many times that as small as you were, you still had "weight" in this world. You changed the world in the short 20 weeks that you were with us.

“ For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. " Psalms 139:13-16

Thank you for letting me be your mommy. Although I will never understand why I didn't get to keep you, I try to remember that I am still your mommy and what I do today is to honor you. I will never stop being your mommy. I will remember your birthday's and exactly how old you were supposed to be. I will remember every Easter that we told your brother and sisters about you on Easter of 2008. I will remember every Mothers Day that one life changing Mothers Day I sat in church patting my stomach trying to get you to move, and the sickening realization of feeling nothing.

Take comfort in knowing that I was bonded to you the minute I first found out about you. I talked to you every day. I thank God that when we finally met, the room was filled with such peace. His hand was upon us that day. Many people have said to me that they cannot even tell that you were gone when they see the pictures of me holding you. There was a proud momma glow on my face and certainly a gleam in daddy's eye for his little princess.

I had such hopes and dreams for you. Now you are with Jesus. Now you are with Grandpa and Grandma Hasty, Uncle Randy, Grandpa Thurman, and your siblings Jordan and Elijah. I often wonder if Jesus is holding you and rocking you and loving on you for me. I cry for you often and I always will. You are my sweet angel baby.

I have so many questions for you when we finally get to meet again. Do you know how much you are loved? Do you know how much we prayed for you? Do you know how much we miss you? Do you know how much you changed the world? Do you know how beautiful you were? Do you know how much Emmitt, Carleigh and Delaney still talk about you? Do you know that we made a special Memorial Garden in our backyard for you and Jordan, and now for your brother Elijah as well? Do you know how sad I was when I found out you were gone? Do you know how horrible it was to leave the hospital without you? Do you know how much you changed me? Do you know that I prayed everyday for you while you were inside of me and said "Grow big baby, I just want to hold you one day"? Do you know that you had Carleigh's nose? Do you know that you had Emmitt's long legs and arms? Do you know that you looked like Delaney? Do you know that Delaney cried "Baby Gone-Baby Gone" as soon as you appeared on the ultrasound screen? Finally, do you know that I struggle every day with how to live without you?

You made me brave Mia! I will be your voice. I will make you proud to call me mommy. I will love you deeply, tenderly, honestly, purely, wholeheartedly FOREVER! Sleep sound in Jesus little one, I'll be home soon!

Love always, Mommy!

My child is a heritage from the Lord; and the fruit of my womb is a reward from him!
Psalm 127:3!

Thank you for taking a few minutes out of your busy Saturday to share this with me. I look forward to posting what’s on my heart about life, family, friends, Jesus, faith, parenting and just trying to be a Godly woman.

Love to all,

Marsha