We can say goodbye with HOPE- because we know goodbye is not the end!

I started this blog today to share with you our life at the Hasty household. However, today's very first blog is dedicated to my sweet angel Mia Hope.

Where do I begin? First by saying Happy Birthday Mia Hope Hasty! One year ago today we joyfully and sadly said hello and goodbye in the same breath! A lot has happened since then and I'll eventually share that in later posts.

This blog has been one year in the making. I've thought about writing one for a while now, but never felt the release to do it until now. I thought I would honor Mia's birthday by sharing a new chapter/blog in our lives. I honestly didn't think that people would be too interested in the everyday goings on in our lives until just recently. In light of recent events, I feel compelled to write about all that God is doing and has done and share the HOPE that we have in Him.

Most of you know that last May 16th I was 5 1/2 months pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who we named Mia Hope. The meaning of Mia is "wished for". The meaning of Hope is "to trust in the future". So that's what we have been doing this past year. Wishing and Hoping and Trusting in the future. Please take the next few minutes to read a letter that has helped in the healing process.

A Letter To My Daughter

Sweet Mia,

I cannot believe that it has been a year already since we got to hold you. I miss you now more than ever. I often close my eyes and remember exactly what you looked like and even the way you smelled. You were the sweetest and littlest baby that I had ever seen. I've said many times that as small as you were, you still had "weight" in this world. You changed the world in the short 20 weeks that you were with us.

“ For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. " Psalms 139:13-16

Thank you for letting me be your mommy. Although I will never understand why I didn't get to keep you, I try to remember that I am still your mommy and what I do today is to honor you. I will never stop being your mommy. I will remember your birthday's and exactly how old you were supposed to be. I will remember every Easter that we told your brother and sisters about you on Easter of 2008. I will remember every Mothers Day that one life changing Mothers Day I sat in church patting my stomach trying to get you to move, and the sickening realization of feeling nothing.

Take comfort in knowing that I was bonded to you the minute I first found out about you. I talked to you every day. I thank God that when we finally met, the room was filled with such peace. His hand was upon us that day. Many people have said to me that they cannot even tell that you were gone when they see the pictures of me holding you. There was a proud momma glow on my face and certainly a gleam in daddy's eye for his little princess.

I had such hopes and dreams for you. Now you are with Jesus. Now you are with Grandpa and Grandma Hasty, Uncle Randy, Grandpa Thurman, and your siblings Jordan and Elijah. I often wonder if Jesus is holding you and rocking you and loving on you for me. I cry for you often and I always will. You are my sweet angel baby.

I have so many questions for you when we finally get to meet again. Do you know how much you are loved? Do you know how much we prayed for you? Do you know how much we miss you? Do you know how much you changed the world? Do you know how beautiful you were? Do you know how much Emmitt, Carleigh and Delaney still talk about you? Do you know that we made a special Memorial Garden in our backyard for you and Jordan, and now for your brother Elijah as well? Do you know how sad I was when I found out you were gone? Do you know how horrible it was to leave the hospital without you? Do you know how much you changed me? Do you know that I prayed everyday for you while you were inside of me and said "Grow big baby, I just want to hold you one day"? Do you know that you had Carleigh's nose? Do you know that you had Emmitt's long legs and arms? Do you know that you looked like Delaney? Do you know that Delaney cried "Baby Gone-Baby Gone" as soon as you appeared on the ultrasound screen? Finally, do you know that I struggle every day with how to live without you?

You made me brave Mia! I will be your voice. I will make you proud to call me mommy. I will love you deeply, tenderly, honestly, purely, wholeheartedly FOREVER! Sleep sound in Jesus little one, I'll be home soon!

Love always, Mommy!

My child is a heritage from the Lord; and the fruit of my womb is a reward from him!
Psalm 127:3!

Thank you for taking a few minutes out of your busy Saturday to share this with me. I look forward to posting what’s on my heart about life, family, friends, Jesus, faith, parenting and just trying to be a Godly woman.

Love to all,

Marsha