It happens every year like clockwork. I spend December planning for the Christmas.
January planning for Delaney's birthday in February.
February celebrating Delaney's birthday and planning for Emmitt's birthday in March.
March we spoil our firstborn son in as many ways possible and prepare for Easter.
And then along comes April.
What is it about April that makes me have a flood of emotions on opposite sides?
You see on Sunday, April 7th we will celebrate our son Elijah's birthday. I had him 4 years ago. I said hello and goodbye. I said hello and GOODBYE.
I'm okay. I really am. I miss him and all the things I never had the chance to do with him on this earth. However, Carleigh and Delaney never forget to remind me that it is his birthday. And every year like clock work they want to have a party for him also.
So we find ourselves planning something for him because after all he is their brother and our son. I usually find something to put around the memorial garden for him.
I will say it doesn't sting as much to think about him as it did a few years ago. Now when I think of him I have peace and usually end up with a smile on my face. (That is a MIRACLE). I never thought I would be able to say that.
So if you see me come April 7th and I'm acting a little funny, indifferent, not like myself you will know why. I try to be strong but when it comes down to it I just REALLY wish I had him still. That is never going to change. I'm a mom who has lost three of her children, two of which I held in my arms.
And then comes Mia's birthday on May 16th, 5 years ago.
And for those of you out there that try to comfort me by saying things like "Just be thankful for what you have". Well, I AM. It doesn't make me miss him any less or mean that I love him more than my other children. So please, I don't want to hear it. I pray you never know what it's like to lose a child because then you would know.
That's all for now. Not a "fun" post. I don't want to pretend that I have it all together. Just me being REAL with you, and I hope that okay.
I promise, I will be my cheery self next post okay? Maybe I'll even throw in some of Delaney's quotes. That is surely to make you laugh.
We also have lots of fun things planned for April at the Hasty Household.
Praying your April is full of Spring fun and blessings!
Marsha
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
She's got a way about her. I don't know what it is? But I know that I can't live without her!
Have you ever tried something for the first time and loved it and thought "Where have you been all of my life?"
It's like you love it and didn't even know you were missing it.
That's exactly the way I felt when I met Delaney Grace (my youngest) for the first time.
After having my first two so close together we waited for a little while to have another baby. I loved every moment of my pregnancy with her (other than throwing up all the time for the first three months). I couldn't wait to meet her. Would she be our last? Would this be our last pregnancy? We thought so.
So we captured every moment on tape. Took thousands of pictures. Bought all new EVERYTHING for her.
I will never forget how pretty she was. I know, I know, every momma thinks their child is pretty. But Delaney's red hair and perfect complexion made her perfection.
Just like with Carleigh I had bows in her hair two minutes after coming out of the womb (not exactly but you get the point). And I don't think I slept for days. Not because she kept me up crying. I didn't want to sleep with her around. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, cherish her because I knew just like with my first two children she would quickly grow up.
I had crazy people tell me "Watch out because three is going to rock your world". Or "With three they are never in the same mood. Someone is always unhappy". Three was our magic number. We were ALL happy she was here.
Since then, 7 years ago today, there have been moments of joy with her, moments where I wanted to pull my hair out, moments of laughing until I cry and moments of "Oh my gosh did she really just say that?"
I have kissed her boo boos, wiped her tears, kissed her cheeks off, spanked her little cushy bottom (shock, gasp...she probably laughed while I did it). I have read thousands of books to her, rocked her to sleep, cuddled with her, sang to her, give her correction, worked on spelling her name, counting money and all of the other things she needed to learn.
My prayer is that it was enough. Enough kisses, love, correction, support, encouragement, laughter, and teachable moments.
Don't we all need that? We need someone to wipe our tears, calm our fears, cheer us on and correct us when we need it even when it hurts both of us.
If you feel like you don't have that tonight I want you to remember that their is a God who loves YOU just like I love my little Laney. As much love as I have for her doesn't even compare to the love that God has for us.
I cannot imagine sending any of my children to die for anyone but He did just that. So you and I could be free from the law of sin and death and have eternal life. (I'm preaching now, somebody give me an amenah).
So today (and for the past several days) we have lavished our love on her. We have told her we loved her a millions times and told her how we couldn't believe she is such a big girl. We made her hopes and dreams come true for her birthday.
I urge you to not loose hope. There is a father in heaven just waiting to lavish his love on you if you let him. He calls you friend. What do you call him?
Yes, there will be many more birthdays. But tonight I'm thanking God for 7 years with a red headed, feisty, smart, witty, candy loving, not afraid to say anything girl. I cannot wait to see how He is going to use her. All eyes are on you God.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Don't wait until Valentines Day!
A little note that says I love you.
A favorite meal made for you just because.
A text that says I miss you.
Taking out the trash instead of waiting for your spouse to do it.
A big hug when they aren't expecting it.
A smile and a hello when they walk through the door after a long day of work.
Sometimes when the above mentioned happens it changes the entire course of our day doesn't it?
Don't we all want to feel like we are loved, appreciated, respected, missed, wanted, needed?
Jeff and I are far from a perfect marriage. However I have no problems in saying that we try VERY hard at our relationship, and it is VERY rewarding. We have been together for a really long time (over 20 years). We have grown up together, grow apart at times, grown back together again and etc.
What I've learned over the years is that a relationship takes great patience and compromise. I'm not always going to have those heart fluttering feelings that I had when we first met (although they are stronger now than then). Add a few kiddos, jobs, school, home maintenance, bills, family time and then life gets in the way and our feelings can become as mundane as life. It's much easier be selfish. The more difficult thing to do is to try hard at being a good spouse, but the rewards outweigh being selfish by a long shot. And then it gets easier.
Sometimes when I don't agree with Jeff 's position on something (did I just admit to that) instead of getting mad at him I pray that God would change MY heart. Maybe it's time we to take a good look in the mirror and see if there are things that we can adjust instead of waiting for our spouse to change. Ouch that hurts.
Hang in there friend. You may not have the perfect relationship but I believe you can have a pretty darn great one.
One of my favorite quotes from Martin Luther
"Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave."
Those are such great words aren't they? Wow. Think about that for a minute.
So I said all of that to say this...don't wait until Valentines Day to let him/her know what they mean to you. Tell them on a Tuesday for no reason. Make them their favorite lunch and stick a love note inside. Let them have the night off by doing the chores they normally do around the house just because you love them.
Those things don't take tons of money but are priceless to the heart of your loved one.
Make them feel special today just because. Don't just wait until Valentines Day!
A favorite meal made for you just because.
A text that says I miss you.
Taking out the trash instead of waiting for your spouse to do it.
A big hug when they aren't expecting it.
A smile and a hello when they walk through the door after a long day of work.
Sometimes when the above mentioned happens it changes the entire course of our day doesn't it?
Don't we all want to feel like we are loved, appreciated, respected, missed, wanted, needed?
Jeff and I are far from a perfect marriage. However I have no problems in saying that we try VERY hard at our relationship, and it is VERY rewarding. We have been together for a really long time (over 20 years). We have grown up together, grow apart at times, grown back together again and etc.
What I've learned over the years is that a relationship takes great patience and compromise. I'm not always going to have those heart fluttering feelings that I had when we first met (although they are stronger now than then). Add a few kiddos, jobs, school, home maintenance, bills, family time and then life gets in the way and our feelings can become as mundane as life. It's much easier be selfish. The more difficult thing to do is to try hard at being a good spouse, but the rewards outweigh being selfish by a long shot. And then it gets easier.
Sometimes when I don't agree with Jeff 's position on something (did I just admit to that) instead of getting mad at him I pray that God would change MY heart. Maybe it's time we to take a good look in the mirror and see if there are things that we can adjust instead of waiting for our spouse to change. Ouch that hurts.
Hang in there friend. You may not have the perfect relationship but I believe you can have a pretty darn great one.
One of my favorite quotes from Martin Luther
"Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave."
Those are such great words aren't they? Wow. Think about that for a minute.
So I said all of that to say this...don't wait until Valentines Day to let him/her know what they mean to you. Tell them on a Tuesday for no reason. Make them their favorite lunch and stick a love note inside. Let them have the night off by doing the chores they normally do around the house just because you love them.
Those things don't take tons of money but are priceless to the heart of your loved one.
Make them feel special today just because. Don't just wait until Valentines Day!
Proverbs 31:10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
If I could just be still.
I've had a few moments of down time lately. And by down time I mean a few hours here and there in between running around, cooking, working at the church, being a chauffeur, and whatever else I find myself doing these days.
It has been nice. I'm one of those people who plan every minute of every day if I can. When my schedule gets derailed I really struggle. (Reminds me of a book I read last year called We Plan, God Laughs by Sherre Hirsch). So when I have down time I wonder around aimlessly looking for something to do.
After about the third day of down time God simply told me to "Be Still". A concept I have yet to grasp. Be Still? How can someone like me be still? How can I sit and do nothing? How can I rest? There is so much to be done. Something always needs cleaned. Laundry barely gets finished before I find myself with two more loads.
Be Still?
Honestly I feel lazy if I'm still. My children could always use more mommy time. My husband would surely appreciate more time with me. If I'm still does that mean I'm taking time away from them?
So, I've sat still for a few hours at a time. (It's a miracle I tell ya)!
What I've discovered is that instead of taking time to develop my children or marriage or career I develop myself. When I think about it, a better me makes for a better mother and all of those other things I just listed. I may even take time to listen more intently to the heart of God.
What have I learned? Too often when I'm still I let the enemy of my soul whisper things to me, Sometimes I don't even realize it before I've and gotten angry about something that really isn't worth the thought. I start feeling depressed, stressed, unappreciated and like my goals are never going to happen. So I simply keep busy.
What am I going to change? I'm going to be still more often. And when I am, instead of having "stinkin thinkin" about life I'm going to listen to the life giver. I'm going to seek until I find him. Knock until He answers. I'm going to just be still and know that He is God. (There I go again, planning my "still" time).
Please tell me I'm not alone. Are any of you guilty of staying busy to keep from thinking too much? I encourage you to take time to be still today. I doubt very seriously you will be sad you did.
It has been nice. I'm one of those people who plan every minute of every day if I can. When my schedule gets derailed I really struggle. (Reminds me of a book I read last year called We Plan, God Laughs by Sherre Hirsch). So when I have down time I wonder around aimlessly looking for something to do.
After about the third day of down time God simply told me to "Be Still". A concept I have yet to grasp. Be Still? How can someone like me be still? How can I sit and do nothing? How can I rest? There is so much to be done. Something always needs cleaned. Laundry barely gets finished before I find myself with two more loads.
Be Still?
Honestly I feel lazy if I'm still. My children could always use more mommy time. My husband would surely appreciate more time with me. If I'm still does that mean I'm taking time away from them?
So, I've sat still for a few hours at a time. (It's a miracle I tell ya)!
What I've discovered is that instead of taking time to develop my children or marriage or career I develop myself. When I think about it, a better me makes for a better mother and all of those other things I just listed. I may even take time to listen more intently to the heart of God.
What have I learned? Too often when I'm still I let the enemy of my soul whisper things to me, Sometimes I don't even realize it before I've and gotten angry about something that really isn't worth the thought. I start feeling depressed, stressed, unappreciated and like my goals are never going to happen. So I simply keep busy.
What am I going to change? I'm going to be still more often. And when I am, instead of having "stinkin thinkin" about life I'm going to listen to the life giver. I'm going to seek until I find him. Knock until He answers. I'm going to just be still and know that He is God. (There I go again, planning my "still" time).
Please tell me I'm not alone. Are any of you guilty of staying busy to keep from thinking too much? I encourage you to take time to be still today. I doubt very seriously you will be sad you did.
"Be still, and know that I am God............."
Psalm 46:10
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Oh how I've missed blogging....
Hello friends. It's been a while since we met via my blog hasn't it? I guess since it's my first time back after a little blogging hiatus, I will catch you up on where my little family is now. So much has happened but I will try to keep it short for time sake.
Jeff has just started his last semester at Mizzou. He will graduate in May and I'm so proud of him. Working two jobs, going to school, managing being a GREAT father and husband, and volunteering what little time he has left to run sound at GracePointe hasn't been easy. Many nights his family is in bed sleeping while he is burning the midnight oil doing homework. He won't know what to do with himself when he doesn't have school anymore.
I have started back to work after being blessed to be a stay at home mom for 11 1/2 years. I now work 29+ hours per week at GracePointe Community Church. I find myself wearing many hats just as I did while being at home with the kiddos. After two years of homeschooling we put all three kiddos into public school. They have made the transition much easier than their momma. On the rare occasion that I get a day off and am able to be at home, I find myself wondering around an empty, very quite house. Managing working more outside of the home, singing on the worship team, volunteering at the kids school, and taking good care of a household has had it's challenges. Gone are the days of waking up late, getting paid to teach Jazzercise, going home to have lunch and then getting a few hours to myself while my babies slept. However, I'm really trying to just enjoy this season in my life. Enjoy the age my children are now. I am even trying to enjoy the fact that I have very little free time because it means they are keeping me busy with fun things.
Emmitt (11)has grown into a pretty fantastic young man. (He looks more like a teenager now than a tween). He is really enjoying school and made friends very easily. He made his daddy proud by learning to play the Saxophone this fall. In December he took Second place in the schools spelling bee. (Gained a few grey hairs watching him participate in that let me tell ya). He's always been a smart boy but lately he amazes me. He is averaging a 400+ page novel every other day now.
Careleigh (10) is having the time of her life at school. She looks forward to picking out her outfit and fixing her hair for school everyday just like a teenager. She has done really well in school and had manged to be a great help to her teacher. Sadly she stopped dancing after 8 years. She wanted to try other things. She started Gymnastics a few weeks ago and will be starting piano shortly. In her free time you will find her curling or braiding the hair of a doll head that she got for her birthday (Just like what stylist use while they are learning to fix hair in beauty school).
Delaney (almost 7) is the funniest little girl I have ever met. I have had more than a hand full of talks with her about having a "filter" for her mouth. She says WHATEVER is on her mind, nice or not. She was given a goal of reading 100 books from the time that school started until the end of the school year. To date she has read 240 books and still going. Her teacher (who we adore) stopped me on Friday to tell me what a bright little girl she is. She said her vocabulary is out of this world and her hand is always up because she always knows the answers. My favorite and most important comment is that she has Christian character traits with the other children (whew, doddged a bullet on that one). She also stopped ballet and decided to start Gymnastics with Carleigh. The first night she was already doing flips. The sky is the limit for that red head.
That's the last year and a half in a nutshell for us. As I join the blog world again I just want to give a little disclaimer. I don't have life, parenting, working or motherhood all figured out. Just last night I couldn't sleep because my mind was full of to do lists, goals and flashbacks of my little angel babies. What I do know is that I'm perfectly imperfect. Hopefully we can help each other on this journey called life. I enjoy feedback and would love to hear any topics you might want me to blog about.
Have a great week and remember when God created you he said very loudly "Ta Da"!
Marsha
Jeff has just started his last semester at Mizzou. He will graduate in May and I'm so proud of him. Working two jobs, going to school, managing being a GREAT father and husband, and volunteering what little time he has left to run sound at GracePointe hasn't been easy. Many nights his family is in bed sleeping while he is burning the midnight oil doing homework. He won't know what to do with himself when he doesn't have school anymore.
I have started back to work after being blessed to be a stay at home mom for 11 1/2 years. I now work 29+ hours per week at GracePointe Community Church. I find myself wearing many hats just as I did while being at home with the kiddos. After two years of homeschooling we put all three kiddos into public school. They have made the transition much easier than their momma. On the rare occasion that I get a day off and am able to be at home, I find myself wondering around an empty, very quite house. Managing working more outside of the home, singing on the worship team, volunteering at the kids school, and taking good care of a household has had it's challenges. Gone are the days of waking up late, getting paid to teach Jazzercise, going home to have lunch and then getting a few hours to myself while my babies slept. However, I'm really trying to just enjoy this season in my life. Enjoy the age my children are now. I am even trying to enjoy the fact that I have very little free time because it means they are keeping me busy with fun things.
Emmitt (11)has grown into a pretty fantastic young man. (He looks more like a teenager now than a tween). He is really enjoying school and made friends very easily. He made his daddy proud by learning to play the Saxophone this fall. In December he took Second place in the schools spelling bee. (Gained a few grey hairs watching him participate in that let me tell ya). He's always been a smart boy but lately he amazes me. He is averaging a 400+ page novel every other day now.
Careleigh (10) is having the time of her life at school. She looks forward to picking out her outfit and fixing her hair for school everyday just like a teenager. She has done really well in school and had manged to be a great help to her teacher. Sadly she stopped dancing after 8 years. She wanted to try other things. She started Gymnastics a few weeks ago and will be starting piano shortly. In her free time you will find her curling or braiding the hair of a doll head that she got for her birthday (Just like what stylist use while they are learning to fix hair in beauty school).
Delaney (almost 7) is the funniest little girl I have ever met. I have had more than a hand full of talks with her about having a "filter" for her mouth. She says WHATEVER is on her mind, nice or not. She was given a goal of reading 100 books from the time that school started until the end of the school year. To date she has read 240 books and still going. Her teacher (who we adore) stopped me on Friday to tell me what a bright little girl she is. She said her vocabulary is out of this world and her hand is always up because she always knows the answers. My favorite and most important comment is that she has Christian character traits with the other children (whew, doddged a bullet on that one). She also stopped ballet and decided to start Gymnastics with Carleigh. The first night she was already doing flips. The sky is the limit for that red head.
That's the last year and a half in a nutshell for us. As I join the blog world again I just want to give a little disclaimer. I don't have life, parenting, working or motherhood all figured out. Just last night I couldn't sleep because my mind was full of to do lists, goals and flashbacks of my little angel babies. What I do know is that I'm perfectly imperfect. Hopefully we can help each other on this journey called life. I enjoy feedback and would love to hear any topics you might want me to blog about.
Have a great week and remember when God created you he said very loudly "Ta Da"!
Marsha
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Summer craziness- LOVE IT!
Hey Gang!
I have to start off by saying that I wish I was a better blogger. I can't believe that my last post was in May. WOW-time flies!
We are in full summer mode at the Hasty household. Sleeping in, playing outside, swimming, VBS, Camps, Playdates, and going to bed late. All of this fun is exhausting.
Just thought that I would give you a little update on our little family.
Jeff is busy as ever with work. I don't know how that man does it. Working two jobs, being a wonderful father and husband, and he spends about 10+ hours per week running the sound booth at GracePointe. He's got a birthday coming up on the 19th and we celebrate 14 years of marriage on the 26th.
I started working part time for GracePointe this past March and I LOVE it. Unfortunately, I had to step down from teaching Jazzercise which was a passion of mine. Between homeschooling and working for GracePointe, getting kids to Ballet and Guitar, and being on the worship team...something had to give. I've been able to workout there still, but going from teaching 3-4 classes per week to MAYBE taking two classes has been a huge change for me.
Emmitt is doing great and is as smart as ever. He has a new hobby. Customizing Star Wars figurines. You know he's always loved Star Wars, and the kid has enough of those toys to open up a small toy store. He customizes them and then tapes himself doing a review for YouTube. It's so cute.
Carleigh is at Volleyball camp this week. Volleyball is new to her and she is loving it. She moves up a level in Ballet this year which will be a little more intense that the previous classes. She's very excited about that. She has been busy with friends, reading, "doing makeovers", and sewing. She is a teenager in an 8 year olds body. Her favorite shows are What Not To Wear and Say Yes To the Dress. (She is her mothers daughter) Someone told me last week she is going to be a trendsetter.
Delaney has recently discovered that she can swim underwater. She's always done well in water but as of last week she figured it out all on her own. A huge relief for this momma. I now don't have to worry that if she were to fall in somewhere she couldn't keep herself a float. She is excited about Kindergarten. She has started reading a little and loves to "do school" at our house. Jeff asked her a question last week and her response? "Yeah, Dawg!"
I cannot believe that next month I will be sending my baby to Kindergarten. Boohoo. She's ready....this momma is not.
I know many of you are curious about homeschooling for this upcoming year. Emmitt and Carleigh will continue to be homeschooled. Delaney will attend a 5 day Christian Kindergarten at Raytown Baptist Church. I'm head long into reviewing curriculum for a 5th grader and 3rd grader. I'm trying to decide what worked last year and what didn't. We have continued to work a little each day on Junior Bible Quiz, Math, Handwriting and Grammar. (Yes, I'm the mean mom that makes them work during the summer). I have always had them do summer work, so it's not new for them to do this. Being a mom and a teacher isn't easy, but I love the rewards of it.
Before I go I want to remind you to take time this summer to just enjoy your friends and family. There will always be laundry, housework, yard work and work outside of the home. Before we know it will be cooped up inside because it's winter...wishing it was summer. Just sayin.
Have a fantabulous day!
Marsha
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Happy Birthday Mia Hope Hasty
Today my children are finishing up their last day of our first home school year. What an amazing time I have had being their "teacher." Has it been a blast? ABSOLUTELY! Have I been overwhelmed some days? Um, YEAH!
You see, up until about three weeks before I started homeschooling them I always said "I could NEVER (key word) home school my kids." "It's too much responsibility." "I don't have that kind of time."
Be careful what you say that you will NEVER do. It always comes back to get you doesn't it?
But, I did it. We did it. It's done and I'm very thankful to have had this year with them.
Next up? Summer fun. They will be going to their first week long summer camp at the Lake of the Ozarks. The same camp that I went to every year from birth until about age 16. I can't believe that I'm bringing my kids to it. It's a very surreal feeling. We have small trips planned, play dates planned, movie nights, and nights of playing outside until dark planned.
I have very mixed emotions for today. I'm so happy for the kids to be done with school for the year and to begin summer.
However, today is Mia's birthday. For those of you that are new to my blog, three years ago today I gave birth to a beautiful little girl Mia, who was born still. I never thought that I would make it this far.
It's a very strange feeling to know that life goes on after loosing her. I feel like I should be terribly upset. And I am, but I'm not a wreck. I'm strong. Wow. I can't believe that I just wrote that.
For whatever reason, she didn't make it on this earth? I don't even want to question why. I don't want to be upset for the rest of my life and become bitter and angry. She didn't live and three years after saying goodbye, I feel like it was just a minute ago.
I wish you all could have saw how sweet she was. She had the tiniest little nose, a perfectly formed body, a beautiful face and the tiniest hands and fingers. I stared at her every minute that she was with us trying so hard in my mind to remember every feature about her. My sweet Mia Hope.
So here I am, three years later, blogging about life with my three healthy kids. Sad but Happy. How can that be?
I guess today I'll celebrate that fact that my kids school year is through. (I now have a kindergartner,third grader and fifth grader). YIKES! But today I will also choose to celebrate Mia's life. I'm so thankful for that time with her. Even if it was short.
I want to leave you with a poem that I believe that God put before me this morning.
Before even time began,
My sweet Mia for me was planned.
I brought her unto this earth,
Through the miracle of birth.
Even when life takes us apart,
We from each other will not depart.
For she is the goodness inside my soul,
A strength on which I will forever grow.
Happy Birthday Sweet Mia! I can only imagine the party that Heaven is having for you. It makes me smile.
Marsha
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