Ya Ya Sisters Day and other random Hasty things!

 

Hello Friends!

As I type, Miss Delaney is hopefully down for an afternoon nap.  She has been running a fever on and off for a few days now.  Poor thing.  Unfortunately someone in our family has been sick for the last 4 weeks.  We’ve had the stomach flu, colds, more flues, and now another cold again.  I miss church.  We’ve only been once in 4 weeks. YUCK>  So if you think about it, say a prayer for Miss D tonight.

It’s just another Manic Monday.  Wish it were a Sunday. Ha.

Many of you may know that we celebrated YaYa Sisters Day on Saturday.  You may be thinking “what in the world is YaYa Sisters Day?”  This is a holiday that Angie and I created about 4 years ago.  We decided that we needed a holiday just to celebrate the fact that God made us sisters and friends.  Every year close to the first day of fall (our favorite time), we get together and give each other gifts, have a nice dinner and do whatever we want.  We tell secrets, we cry, we laugh, we HAVE FUN!  For the past few years we have both been saying that we needed to include my cousin Jenee who does not have a sister. She is our only female cousin on my moms side, and we are both very close to her. (she might as well be our sister).  So this year we extended our invite to include our cousin.  But we couldn’t invite her without inviting her mother who just happens to be my moms only sister.  So Sisters Day went from just two sisters, to five and WE HAD A BLAST!!!

Friends, if you have sisters or if you just have friends, you need to find a day to do this.  It will change your life.  It has brought us closer every year, and every year we are trying to think of something “fun” to do on our Sisters Day.  All year we are picking up small things here and there that maybe our sister mentioned they needed or wanted.  To see the look on their face when they open it and see that we listened to them and remembered what they said is amazing.  This year I got…a set of cookie sheets, Rachel Ray offset spatulas, Paula Deen mixing bowls, a snuggie, a Christmas Rug, 3 cookbooks, and Autumn basket, Halloween decorations, a Yankee Candle and air freshener, lip gloss, a sisters plaque, and 2 picture frames.  I’m sure that I'm missing something, but can you believe it?  None of us went overboard on our spending, but we just bought what we thought the other would like.  Too fun.

I won’t bore you will all of the details of our Sisters Day but I will share with you a few of our YaYa Sisters Day Commandments:

• Thou shalt not text home
• Thou shalt not count calories
• Thou shalt eat whatever you want
• Thou must go shopping
• Thou must not talk about anything sad, and if thou talks about anything sad, thou must put 25 cents towards the next Sisters Day (indecently we have about $10 in quarters saved for next year…what can I say, it’s been a hard year)

Okay, I’m almost done talking about our YaYa SD 2009, but I have to mention on other thing.  My mom bought us all snuggies.  We opened presents outside on the patio, the weather was nice and honestly we had so many presents we wouldn’t have fit inside the house.  We looked like a cult sitting outside in our black snuggies.  (they look like Scream costume minus the masks).  Anyway, mom has a motion light that kept going on and off.  At one point the light went off and I heard Angie say “can anyone see?”  When the light came back on my Aunt Lisa was standing up saying (in her long black “cult” snuggie) “And now our Sisters Day sacrifice can begin.”  Guess you had to be there, but we all laughed till we cried.  I’m sure the neighbors wondered what the heck was happening. LOL>

Other than that last week was a pretty fast uneventful week for us.  However, Carleigh Rae started her first “big girl” ballet class.  Up until now she has been in wee and pre-ballet.  Basically just an intro to ballet.  Now she’s old enough to be in the big girl class and it’s very serious.  She will be in a group of girls older than her and some a lot more advanced than she.  I’m praying that it really challenges her passion for dance.  I would have loved to have done something like that when I was young.  There is no doubt that if I would have started when I was her age I would probably own my own studio today.  I LOVE DANCE, and I see that same passion for it in her eyes.  She did great her first class and I can’t wait to see how much she advances this year.

Miss D starts her first ballet class tonight.  She is super excited.  I can’t wait to take pictures.  My friend Melissa (the friend that makes the cutest hair bows) made her a purple and white tutu and I cannot wait to put it on her.  She tells me “i’ne already a ballerina mommy”.  I’ll post some pictures tomorrow.

Emmitt turns 8 1/2 tonight at 10:53.  8 1/2 years ago our entire life changed for the better.  This kid is truly a gift from God. I know what your thinking, yes, I’ve already made the 1/2 birthday cake and yes, we will sing happy birthday to him tonight and eat said half birthday cake.  It’s tradition.

Lastly I have to mention that while last night in the shower I realized something…I’m “One Of Those Moms”.  If you don’t know what I mean let me clarify:

I’m “One Of Those Moms” who:

• says things like “make good choices today.”
• needs the occasional night out and when that happens usually two minutes after the kids are gone I’m ready for them to come home.
• doesn’t feel “freedom” when I'm by myself, I feel lonely.
• is the last person to sit and eat at the dinner table and while it’s clear that every one has at least had two or three bites already says (like I didn’t notice that they’ve already started eating) “Who’s going to pray over our meal?”
• is sometimes too tired to shower after taking care of everyone all day.
• tries to have warm baked goodies for the kids when they get home from school at least two or three times per week.
• gets frustrated after everyone leaves there stuff lying all over the house and instead of just telling them to take care of it, I pick it up and huff and puff the whole time so they can hear me.
• goes shopping for myself and ends up buying for the kids and not having money left for myself.
• volunteers every chance I get just so I can get an extra few minutes at the school to let them know that I love them.
• calls my kids “babies, hunney, nunney, love, sugar, sweetie and other annoying names
• feels like when the kids miss a question at school it’s a personal reflection of my parenting skills.
• hates to spank but is amazed at how quick it works.  (don’t have to do it often, and I HATE to have to do it at all).
• raises her voice at the kids (okay, yells), and then feels bad for a week afterward.
• feels like I have the best job in the world.  The positives waaaay outweigh the negatives.

That’s all for now folks.  Now you are up to date with the Hasty family.

Please keep in touch and let me know how you are!

Much love,

Marsha

Happy Labor Day!

Hello All!  Happy Labor Day!

It’s been almost 2 weeks since I last wrote.  I have tried to.  But for whatever reason, after I’ve written a couple blogs, I decided not to post them.  Just didn’t feel like they were important enough.  So, third times a charm.

Thank you for those of you who have been asking about my Grandma.  She is still hanging on.  She told my dad “A lot of people have been visiting me, they must think that I’m dying…I’m going to live a long time just to be ornery.” They told us that she wouldn’t make it to her birthday, and that was last week.  God’s not finished with her yet on this earth.

Do you have plans for today?  My plans are to do nothing and enjoy my family.  It seems like since school started we hit the ground running and never looked back.  You would think that since I have two in school that I would have a ton of time on my hands when they are gone, but no such luck.  I’ve been volunteering at school and trying to finish up their rooms.  Not done completely with their rooms but getting close.  Delaney is having fun just following me around.  And occasionally getting spoiled when I’m at the store trying to find things for their room.  She’s so cute you hate to tell her no, and she never asks for anything, so when she does it’s a no brainer.

Jeff is really enjoying Chemistry.  (sarcasm).  He’s a couple weeks into school now and is starting to feel a little more confident.  I feel bad when he doesn’t understand something because I am certainly no help.  He’s hoping to take Emmitt out on the golf course today for some much needed down time.  He’s on call today, so we’ll see if that actually happens. 

Emmitt is enjoying 3rd grade.  Everyday he comes home and says school was “awesome”.  He loves his teacher and also loves the fact that she gives them time in class to work on homework. If they get it done in class, they don’t have to take it home.  He’s soon to turn 8 1/2 and you better believe that there will be a half bday cake for him.  I can’t believe that my baby boy is so old.  Where did the time go?

Carleigh is getting ready to start ballet this week. She is super excited.  She is probably more excited because she has a few new leotards to wear.  The girl loves clothes.  She’s going to be a designer one day.  My sister told me the other day that when Carleigh wears a certain shirt with a scarf, she never wears the scarf the same way.  Every time Angie sees her she’s got it tied a little different.  And the girl loves shoes.  She probably has a lot more than I do.  She changes close at least 4 times daily.  All that aside she is the most thoughtful child that I know.  She’s always making someone something to eat or drink, or making a card for someone.  She never asks for the same in return.  I brought her a pillow and blanket last night while she was watching a movie and she was so thrilled that I thought of her.  “O, momma, Thank you!”

 

Delaney has a new word, PUNK>.  Let me tell you that it’s really hard to keep a straight face while telling her  “Delaney, we don’t call people Punks”. Ha.  I laugh just typing that.  She starts ballet next Monday and she is soooooooo excited.  She tells me that she’s already a ballerina.  And she twirls and whirls around the house to show me all her moves. You better believe that there will be lots of pictures taken her first class.  There is nothing cuter than a little girl in a tutu with her little pudgy belly hanging out.  I just hope that she doesn’t beat anyone up her first class. Joking.  She’s yet to actually beat anyone up. (but I’m sure the thought has crossed her mind).

I’ve been busy with kiddos and housework. I’ve really been seeking God as to what my next step is.  I thought that I would be home for the next 5 years with Elijah, so now that that is not a reality, I’m trying to figure out what is next.  Delaney will start Pre-K next year and then Kindergarten the year after that.  I know that I will go back to work at some point, so I'm trying to think  a head a little as to what I might want to do.  I’m sure that God already has it under control, but I’m still a thinker.  I’ve been fortunate to be at home for the last 8 1/2 years.  By the time Delaney will start school I will have been home for 10 1/2 years.  WOW.  Never thought that would have been a reality.  Thank you Jesus.  I’m so thankful that I got to raise my kids and see the firsts of everything.  It was worth all of the sacrifice.  I have the best job in the world.

Lastly I just want to say that I’ve really been praying for you all.  I know that there are tons of you going through some “stuff”.  From Miscarriages, to lost jobs, to lay offs, to sickness, to disease, to marital problems, to husbands being deployed.  I think about you all more than you know.  I will not stop praying for you and God’s best for you.  Hang close to Jesus and get in the Word.  It’s like a road map for life.  If you don’t know what to do, just open it and you’ll be sure to have a little clarity. Trust, Obey, Pray, Seek, Knock, Sing, Dance, Love, Forgive, Worship, Laugh, Serve!

Have an awesome day.  Thanks for taking the time to check in on our little family.

Blessings,

Marsha Stewart (tee he)

Things should have been different.

 

Yesterday was Elijah’s due date. A day that I had dreaded since April 7.

He probably would have been born a little earlier considering that all three of the kids were just about 2 weeks early.  But, he for sure would have graced our presence by now.

This is what should have happened: He would have been showered with presents, flowers and visitors.  He would have been prayed over by everyone.  I would have kissed him from head to toe, counted every finger and toe, and cried and thanked God for him.  Daddy would have held him so proud of his “little guy”, and maybe, quite possibly cried even more than I.  I would have not been able to sleep at all for a while for fear that I might miss something with him.  He would have been passed around like a trophy.  He would have had countless pictures and video taken of his tiny self.  The kids would have come barreling through the hospital door so excited to meet their new brother.  Emmitt would have been so happy to FINALLY have a brother.  Carleigh would have been a mother hen to him.  And Miss Delaney would have beat up any child that came within 1 foot of him.  I can just hear her now,  “MY BROTHER!” I’m positive that there would have been a fight or two or three from our little angels over who would hold him, change his diaper, fed him, snap his car seat, put him in his crib and give him a bath.  Neal and Vivian would have came to the hospital to see their new grandson.  And Neal probably would have been a little shy at first, holding something so tiny.  Vivian probably would have cried and smiled from the time she got there, until the time she had to leave.  Mom and Dad and Angie and Tom would have been there with me the entire time until I had to tell them that it was okay to go home.  They would have made sure that every detail was covered.  They would have fed Jeff, watched the kids for us, and bought more presents for them than little Elijah would have gotten.  Angie would have come over every night after work to hold him and kiss his little face.  Tommy would have told her all the time “Let’s go see baby Eli”.  Jeff would have went to work very sleep deprived and very much smitten with his new son.  We would have probably been a little overwhelmed with 3 kids, a new baby, and school starting.

But that’s not what happened.  The reality is that we did get to meet Elijah. Just not the way we had hoped.  We said hello and goodbye in one breath.  We held him for 5 hours, but it might as well have been 5 minutes.  I feel like I blinked and our time on earth was up with him.  I did hold him, and kiss him, and love on him, it was just so quick.  I wish I could do it just one more time.

I was numb the entire day yesterday. You probably wouldn't have known I was upset, but I walked around feeling like someone had kicked me in the stomach.  Unfortunately or fortunately the day was very busy with just “stuff” and I didn’t get home until around 9 p.m. last night only to have to leave again to stop by mom and dad’s for something and head to Wal-mart for primer for Emmitt’s room.  I think I finally got home around 10:35 p.m.  I didn’t have any major meltdowns.  I didn’t want to cry, or pray, eat, or do anything….I was numb.

Thank you all for your prayers and emails and words of encouragement yesterday.  Thank you all for walking with us through this journey called grief.  It’s been a long hard road.  But we’re making it.  It has brought us ALL closer, and for that I’m truly grateful.

So, for now, I choose life.  I choose to cherish Elijah and let his memory be a happy one.  I choose to still be his mommy on earth even though he’s not with us.  I choose to not be depressed, after all, I have three other miracles and a husband to take care of.

Thank you Jesus for Elijah Jake Hasty born April 7, 2009.  Thank you that out of everyone on earth, you chose Jeff and I to be his parents.  Thank you that he gets to be with Jordan and Mia in heaven.  Thank you for strength to do this.  Thank you for family and friends that love and care about us and Elijah. 

Elijah, I love you buddy.  More than you know.  I’m so happy to be your mommy.  I can’t wait until the day that we meet again.

I just wish that things would have been different.

1st day of school jitters…for all of us!

So Emmitt and Carleigh started school today.  It seems like just yesterday they were little babies, and now they are in 3rd and 1st grade.  My babies are growing up.  Regardless of whether I want them to, it’s going to happen.  I wish I could just get new moms to understand how fast time goes when you have children. 

Before kids it’s all about you.  You go to nice restaurants, have fancy dates, watch whatever you want to on t.v. and actually have a little extra cash to spend on clothes and for men electronics.

Then something happens.  God plants a little seed in side of a mother.  A baby.  Not just a baby, but a miracle.  Something that grows from a little tiny heartbeat.  To a living, breathing, fully functioning human being.  A one of a kind original work of art. 

That in itself is a miracle.  I have six children (5 of which I have seen with my own eyes) and none of them are alike.  Do they favor each other, yes, do the favor Jeff and I, yes, but do they look like an exact replica of us or each other, NO.  Their hands are all different, their feet are all different.  Emmitt is taller for his age, Delaney is smaller for her age. Carleigh has a different nose than all of us.  Mia had the tiniest sweetest hands, and Elijah had long legs and arms and big feet.  Even their personalities are entirely different. 

One would think that since they come from the same “genes”, and live in the same house with the same parents they would be a little alike right?  Not in our house. 

I remember spending at least 3 days after having Emmitt trying to figure out just HOW he was inside of me?  When he was in my stomach he was a “baby”, but when I met him he was “Emmitt”.  I also remember having a strange déjà vu feeling like I had met him before.  When they showed him to me for the first time I just said (in my head) “Of course that’s what he looks like, I’ve seen him before”.

Then Carleigh Rae came along.  By that time Emmitt was 18 months old and it felt like we had only had him just a few months.

Careing for 2 made the days go by a lot quicker and I find myself now looking at pictures to remember the way things were.

I told Jeff last night that we didn’t understand how life was when it was just Emmitt and us.  We had a small duplex, small car, barely any furniture, no agenda, less hectic schedules, and time……time…..time.

Where did the time go?  When did I go from 2 babies to 3?  Why does it seem like I blinked and they all just grew up?

I try to embrace the changes.  I try to get excited about all that they will be learning this school year and how much they will grow, physically, mentally, but most important spiritually.

I find that with every passing year we become a little closer, I love them even more now than when I met them, and they become even more a part of me.  They make me..me. 

They have changed me.  They have made me more patient, more loving, more aware of life (I used to be pretty gullible).  I eat better, sleep harder, laugh louder, and love deeper.

Who would I be without Emmitt, Carleigh and Delaney?  I don’t ever want to know who I would have been.  I’m so thankful for the way they have changed me..for the better.

To all you mommies out there reading this with little ones, I want to tell you to take time today to cherish them.  Soon they will be off to school, off to a friends house, off to football, off to college, off to their wedding. 

I did well today.  I didn’t cry at all.  I sent them off with a smile and a little sadness in my heart.  They are growing up, but I’m excited to see all that God has planned for them.  I get to be their mommy.  There is no greater gift.  I’m certain of that.

How did Emmitt go from this:

to this:

 

How did Carleigh go from this:

to this:

 

How did Delaney go from this:

to this:

 

If any of you ever figure out how to slow down time…let me know will ya~  Because it’s going waaaaaay to fast!

It’s been a Super-Dee-Duper Summer!~

 

 

 

Hi Friends! 

I’ve had a little blogging hiatus, not because I wanted to necessarily, but because life at the Hasty’s is BUSY!!!

Whew, I’ve barely been able to catch my breath.  You know how everyone tells you to start getting you kids to bed early a few weeks before school start?  That won’t be a problem for us because they have been CRASHING every night.

Our friends from Tennessee left on Monday of this week.  We had a great visit with them and the kids love their kids even more than ever.  Can I just tell you that Lorrie very nonchalantly mentioned to me that Steven Curtis Chapman’s son called John Michael when they got back from China and asked if he would still be interested in Drum lessons with him.  I said “Are you kidding, he’s got to do it!”  The kid is an amazing musician and JM already has a musical spirit in him.  If it were us, I would have brought Emmitt over right away.  I’ll let you know if it happens?  What an opportunity though.

The kids have been counting down the days left of summer break.  They are not ready for summer to end.  I’ve tried very hard to make summer fun for them, so fun in fact that they want to be homeschooled so they can be home with me all of the time. Ha.  Indecently their classes start on Wednesday, August 19.  Their clothes are bought, the supplies are bought, the new shoes are bought (thank you mom and dad and Tom and Angie for your help with everything) so ready or not……here they come!

One goal that I had for the summer was to switch rooms out for the kids.  I didn’t think that it was going to happen.  However, this week we finally started switching rooms and they are oh so happy.  Let me tell you, 2 room and 3 kiddos have been a trip.  First it was Emmitt in the large room, then Carleigh came along and we made our office into her nursery.  Then Miss D came along and we put the two girls in the large room and E in the smaller room.  Then E and C decided that they wanted to be together in their own room, so we bought a bunk bed and put Miss D in the little room with her toddler bed which fit perfect in that tiny room.  When we found out about Elijah, we were going to put the two girls in one room, the two boys in the other.  Not ideal, but sometimes you just have to roll with what life deals you.  After he passed we decided that Emmitt is getting big and it’s probably time for him to have his own room again.  So, now he’s back in the little room and the girls are in the big room.  I’ve lost track of how many times that is, but it’s about 5 times too many.  It’s a good thing that I love to redecorate huh?  Anyway….E is loving his privacy in his Mizzou room, and the girls are loving being together. I hope that they spend many nights giggling together.  My plans are to paint this weekend.  We shall see if that actually happens.   But at least they are moved, that was my goal anyway.

Last night Emmitt and I went on a “date”.  We hadn’t done that in a while and it was wonderful.  He looked so forward to it all day.  I told him that he could pick where we would go to eat and what we would do after that.  His choice was to order Dominos, go watch the kids skate at the new skate park, and then head to Wal-mart for a new toy. (He ended up with two new toys, but who’s counting).  As I stated on Facebook, I’m pretty sure I’m his new best friend.  I scored some major mom points last night.  Carleigh has decided that she wants to go to the spa and then to Olive Garden.  I heard her tell Emmitt that she and I will wear fancy dresses on our date. If we do, I’ll take a picture so you can share it with us.

Jeff starts his new class at College next week.  This class will be two days per week from 5:30-10 p.m. It’s a Chemistry class so please pray for him because it will be HARD.

Tuesday we celebrated Delaney’s 3 1/2 birthday.  I made her a half birthday cake and we sang happy birthday to her.  She was so excited as if it were her “real” birthday, and she didn’t even care that there weren’t any presents.  Love it!

I wrote a few notes back about my grandma Thurman.  I just wanted to update you that she is not doing well at all.  They are preparing the family for her to pass soon.  Her heart is working at less than 20% right now and she’s going downhill fast.  She went from walking fine, to walking with a walker, to being pushed in a wheelchair, to now not even walking at all.  She lays in her hospital bed all day.  She is very week because her heart is only pumping blood to the vital organs to keep her alive.  She’s not getting enough oxygen to her brain which causes her to forget every thing.  She doesn’t even remember the visit that Angie, the kids and I made in July.  My dad brought her the pictures of us together and she commented that she it’s been so long since she last saw us.  She has also been seeing her deceased mother, husband (my grandpa) and brother at night.  She tells them that they were just there with her.  I don’t think it will be long for her at all.  I don’t want her to die, but the thought of her spending eternity with my babies, grandpa, and all of her loved ones brings such peace to my heart.  My dad and family will really miss her.  I cannot imagine being without my mother and father on this earth.  I hope the Lord comes back quickly so I won’t ever have to deal with that.  Can I get an amen?

I’m off to go sort books for Mrs. Casey (Carleigh’s new teacher) and then pick out paint for the girls room.  Then I need to return the 12 phone messages that are waiting on me. Ugh!  It might be a crazy life, but it’s our life.

Blessing to you, have a wonderful weekend!

The Mighty Mersh

THANKFUL!

This will be a quick post because I have to teach Jazzercise in exactly one hour and I’m still in my jammies!

I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am this morning for all that God has given me.

It dawned on me yesterday that I have been able to stay at home and raise my children for 8 1/2 years! Wow.  When I was pregnant with Emmitt, I would have never thought that would be a possibility, and here it is reality.  Not only did I get to raise him, I got to raise Carleigh, and now Delaney.

He truly makes a way when there seems to be no way!

Here are a few more things I'm THANKFUL for:

• my husband who provides for our every need, and who loves Jesus more than he loves me and the kids
• healthy children (that’s huge)
• a home
• two cars that never cause us trouble
• food in our pantry
• watching the first step, first tooth, first word, first everything with the kids
• freedom in this country, freedom in the Spirit, freedom in the Lord
• friends and family that HAVE MY BACK when one of the worst things in my life happened to me, not only once but 3 times
• I'm thankful that Jesus loves me as if I’m the only one He ever had to love and if it were only me on this earth He would have came and died just for me!
• that my kids never “want” for anything
• that my bills are paid (not in full, but not late either)
• that even though I don’t get to watch Jordan, Mia and Elijah grow up…I still get to be their mommy, I know that God trusted me with them
• for my sweet sister and mom and dad who I know would do ANYTHING for me
• for this blog…it’s helped me to get to know a lot of you better

What are you thankful for this morning?  Take a few moments this morning and think about all that God has done for you.  You are sure to NOT be disappointed.  He’s so GOOD!

I’m off to dance my heart out!  Have a great day!

Love you all, Muahhh!

Marsha

Our week in review!

Greetings from KC!  I hope that those reading this are having a WONDERFUL Sunday.  I have found that I actually have a little bit of time today to do whatever I want, so I thought that I would write a little to tell you what we have been up to lately.

As I type this every member of my family is watching something different on EVERYONE of our T.v.s.  Jeff is catching up on golf, E is watching X-games, Carleigh is watching the Cake Boss (she loves cooking shows like her momma) and Miss D is watching some goofy movie that we rented for her this week.  It’s a good thing that Sunday is a day of rest, because it looks like that’s what everyone will be doing for the rest of the day.

I have to tell you that today’s service at Sheffield was da bomb!!  Our Pastor is out of town and so one of our other Pastors “threw down” the word.  What I liked about it especially is that he called sin what it is “SIN”.  He didn’t sugar coat it, he wasn’t worried about being politically correct, he just said it like it is in the Word.  Awesome job Pastor Ray!  PREACH!

The last few weeks of summer break seem to be flying by.  I’m trying really hard to get everything done with the kiddos that I wanted to.  I’m going to try to fit in a few more play dates, a trip to World’s of Fun, and maybe a trip to Wonderscope before they go back.  I have also been busy buying school clothes and supplies.  Can I just tell you that I'm going to go BROKE when I have three kiddos in school?  Why does it seem like I’m buying enough supplies for ever child in the class?  I know that they need the supplies but DANG, I’m feeling pretty cheap about it these days.  When I pick it up at the store I calculate the total in my head and wonder if I’m done yet.  I’m almost done and I’m going to be so glad when I can mark that off of my “to do” list.

Do you make “to do” lists?  I am a faithful list maker.  I love to make lists.  Christmas lists, grocery lists, home to do lists, honey-do lists, budget lists.  I have them all over the house.  It’s funny to find them from a few years back and see what I was “listing” about at the time and see what and where we’ve came from.  I love the feeling of accomplishing whatever was on my lists.  Do you know what I do when my list is all checked off?  Make another list!!!  I’m crazy like that.

So, the last time I wrote I had you pray about Emmitt and Carleigh’s tuition for school, and for our Medical Bills.  Although no money happened to drop from the sky, Jeff was asked to work a few extra hours for the next 6-8 weeks to help out at his part-time job.  With the extra money that he potentially could earn, we will hopefully be able to pay off the rest of what we owe for Carleigh’s tuition and pay off the rest of our Doctor bills.  Praise God.  It is a sacrifice for all of us for him to be gone, but we thankfully accept the opportunity that God has given our family. Who couldn’t use a little extra cash these days?

All of this money talk has been majorly stressing me out.  I know that I’m a Christian, I know what the Word says about God taking care of me, but I have still been stressing.  I’m just being brutally honest and letting you know that sometimes you just don’t feel like believing what the Word says.  And then something happens, a gentle nudge from God and you think to yourself, “All right, I’m wrong, I admit it, I know that you will take care of my every need if I just TRUST you”.  Trust is a huge thing for me right now.  I trusted with every pregnancy that my babies would be healthy and that I would get to watch them grow up.  I just knew with loosing Jordan, and then Mia, and the Elijah that that baby would be our testimony.  Although the outcome is certainly not at all what I had envisioned, I still feel that gentle nudge from God telling me just TRUST Him. 

I have been crying a lot over this past week.  I guess that it’s part of the grieving process. I cannot believe that it’s August already.  This is the month that he was supposed to be born.  This is the month that we talked about in December, January, February, March and April.  We planned on having him a little early so I would have a few days home from the hospital before the kids started school.  I knew that August was coming, but when I got on my computer yesterday morning and saw that it was August 1, I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. Yet another reminder that we lost him.  He’s not coming this month, I’m no longer pregnant, and I will not get to see him grow up.  I’m usually a pretty positive person but there is nothing good about that.  It’s hard to see the “up”side for the whole situation. That’s just where I'm at right now.  And I’ll go ahead and tell you that it’s probably going to get worse before it better.  I miss that little guy and all the hopes that we had for him.

My wonderful mother-in-law has decided to do something that will bless others that ever have to go through this.  She is crocheting teeny tiny little blankets for the hospitals.  She’s calling it “Nana’s HOPE”.  Her hope is that people that have to give birth to a dead child, or even one that is only alive for a few minutes or hours, will know that they are not alone.  There is still HOPE in the midst of every situation.  I’m going to type something up with a scripture about HOPE on it and deliver it to the hospitals.  I’ll post a picture when I start receiving the blankets.  I know that I cherish the ones that we have when we had Mia and Elijah. 

I’ve been reading a little about what it would take to be a writer.  My sis and I have always said that we would love to write a book.  A couple years ago, I thought that it could possibly be a children's book.  Now I’m thinking about writing an article about what we’ve been through in the past few years and submitting it to some magazines.  Ya all know I could write a book about what NOT to say to people when they miscarry a child.  We’ll see what happens.  I’m just trying to start making dreams and goals again.  My hope is that it might help just one person to know that they are not alone.

I guess that’s all for now folks.  My family has decided that they want breakfast for supper tonight.  I’m making Banana’s Foster French Toast, Eggs, Sausage, Bacon and Biscuits! YUM-O!  Have to get started on it!  So much for a little time off!  Such is the life of a mommy.

Have a great week!

Marsha