The most random post yet!

I cannot believe that it's been so many days since I last posted. Wow, what a whirlwind of a week. I'm such a routine person, the craziness of the beginning of summer, and life's recent events have really thrown me into a tizzy. I'm a planner. I want to know what I'm doing 2 hours from now, 2 days from now, 2 years from now. Not knowing doesn't sit well with me.

I'm such a planner (Type A) that it's even takes me a while to write on the blog. I have to figure out what I want to say, come up with a title, read what I have wrote, change it, reread what I wrote and probably change it again. I don't want to be like that. I want my posts to be just that, posts of what life's like in our home. So, hopefully I will get better at this whole "blog" thing the longer I do it.

Anyway, since my last post I'm happy to say that I successfully taught my first Jazzercise class. I had a class FULL of supportive, loving and CRAZY Jazzercisers. We had fun and I don't think one of us cried. I however cried the minute I got back in the car to head home. I thought to myself "what did I just do?" I felt compelled to apologize to Elijah that life was going on without him. I don't want it to. But I told my dear friend Lorrie today, I don't want to live in the past either. I don't want last May or this past April to define me. It changed me, but if anything it has made me a better mother, wife, friend, sister, women, child of God. I didn't cry all day, so it was a success.

We spent Friday at a pool with some new friends of ours. It was nice to sit and just watch the kids play. I love, love, love hearing them laugh with their friends, and watching them improve in their swimming skills. Why do my kids think they need to eat 15 times while they are at the pool?

Today we spent the day celebrating Emmitt's last Upward Football game for the season. I cannot believe that we are done already. Where does the time go?

BTW...Delaney's new word for the week....boodie. She tries to use it in as many sentences as possible. About an hour ago I told Emmitt to get in the shower and I heard her yell up at him "Don't forget to wash your boodie!" She's such a character. God's going to use that fiestiness, I just know it. I however get to figure out how to reprimand her without laughing.

Pray for Carleigh. She has been having toothaches (ouch..I remember them when I was little). My children unfortunately have Jeff's teeth. Meaning they get tons of cavities. Emmitt had oral surgery at 5. Carleigh needs at least 6 teeth worked on. So, until we can get in with the dentist we have to listen to our little Drama Queen! (She gets it honest).

God has kept me up a few nights this week dealing with my heart. I believe that he is wanting to use my situation, and is just waiting for me to give it to Him. I wish that I could tell you that I've completely given it to Him. Honestly I do give it to Him a lot, and then I go take it back again. I tell him, "I'm mad at you, why did you let him go" and in the same breath I tell Him, "I love you, don't ever leave me." I just miss him so much. How is it that I miss someone so much that I never really knew? I told God that I am the last person that needs to minister to people, after all, I can't even keep my babies alive. Then He reminded me of the saying "God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called". So there you have it. The story is to be continued. Tonight, in my brokenness, I'm laying it down once again.

Is there anything that you need to "lay" down and give to Him? If so what are you waiting for? If there is something you would like for me to pray with you about please leave a comment. You don't have to go into a huge explaination. It can be one word like money, or a relationship. My faith has been shaken to the very core, but I still know how to pray, and I know what God's word says.

Nigh-Night for now! I'm off to get three kiddos in bed, so getting ready for church in the morning doesn't kill them or me.