I'm so nervous I could puke!

Don't ya love the title? If you don't know already I teach my first Jazzercise class tommorrow morning at 8:30 a.m. It's been 8 weeks since my last class but it seems like forever. My body has changed so much. After all, I had a baby.

Carleigh asked this morning "Mommy, are you excited to start back to Jazzercise in the morning?" I didn't know how to answer that. Excited, not really. Do I feel like it's neccesary for the healing/grieveing process, I guess.

You see, it seems so ubserd to be grieving the loss of Eli, and dancing at the same time. I love to work out. I love to dance. But I feel like I've changed. I'm not ready to "cut loose" yet. I'm not the person I was 8 weeks ago.

However, just like every other thing that has to go back to normal, this is one of those things. I have to do it. I have to go on, even if I don't want to.

I also feel like I have forgotten everything so we shall see how it goes. I'm sure that it will be fine and the more I do it the easier it will get. But for now....I'm so nervous I could PUKE! (Hopefully I won't on stage). If you think of me around 9:00 a.m. in the morning I'll probably be dancing to the Hoedown Throwdown and smirking on the inside!

Anyway, what have you been up to?

We have been enjoying summer thus far. We have been busy with playdates, football, swimming, and staying up late watching movies.

We have also been talking about changing the kids room around AGAIN>>> I swear, I have swapped out kids rooms at least 5 or 6 times in the almost 8 years that we have lived here.

The joys of having 3 kids and 2 bedrooms. Right now Emmitt and Carleigh share a room and Delaney is by herself. Soon the girls will be together (hopefully for a while). And the boy will once again get a room of his own.

Kids often come over and comment about Emmitt and Carleigh sharing a room. They LOVE it and asked to be together. They are 19 months apart, so they are really close. They hardly EVER fight with one another. It works. But Emmitt is getting old and I'm sure he's going to need his "space". My baby is 8 years old. How did that happen? How did I become so old that I have an 8, 6 and 3 year old? Enough with the growing already kids.

So anyway, it will be fun to get to decorate once again. I love to paint and shop and see the looks on their faces the first night they get to stay in their "new room". It's bittersweet for me because I wish more than anything I was getting the rooms ready for Elijah. He was due August 21, so I'm sure that's what we would have been doing right about now. Oh well, It's all about E, C and D right now.

Jeff started an "adventure" this week. He graduated from college in 1997 (a week before we got married) with a degree in Radiology. Since moving to KC he has been able to move on and learn MRI and he absolutely loves it. He's amazing at it, and constantly gets comments from patients and Doc's about the way he treats people and his scans. (Yeah, I'm bragging, much love for my "baby daddy"). This week he started back to school to earn his bachelors degree in MRI. I'm so proud of him. He already works 2 jobs to provide for us, so I can stay home and the kids can attend a LSCCS. His classes will be 3 nights a week from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m.. Which means he will leave for work at 6:3o a.m and not return home until 10 p.m. That's why I called it an adventure! It will be long and hard for him, but I know that he can do it. Please pray for him. The class will be a breeze for him (since he deals with anatomy every single day) but I know that he will be very tired from it all.

Ok, I'm done talking about myself already. I'm sick of me.

Hope you had a great hump day!

The Mighty Mersh