PRAYER!!!!!!

 

 

That has been the running theme for this past week. I’ve been majorly praying. I’ve heard “Pray for so and so, she just found out she has cancer, Pray for ---- her daughter just died of cancer, Pray for me, I have some decisions to make, Pray for me-I’m getting test results back from the Doctor, Pray for me, I need to find a job, Pray for me, our company is laying people off this week, Pray that I do well on my test, Pray that I don’t hurt anymore.

There are SO MANY hurting people right now, it’s overwhelming. I’m hurting as well, but I want so badly to take the hurt away from others. I have always been like that. I’m very tenderhearted. If someone is going thru something, I’m usually right there with them. When I was younger (a teenager) I used to cry to Jeff and say “why did God make me so sensitive, why do I hurt with others so?” Then one day one of our Pastor’s at Sheffield prayed for me for no reason. In her prayer she said “You’ve always wondered why God has made you so sensitive, it’s because you are an INTERCESSOR”. Wow, an intercessor. What does that mean exactly? So I looked it up.  An intercessor is someone who intercedes. What does intercede mean? The definition is: to plead or make a request in behalf of another. Hmmmm. So instead of getting so upset and doing nothing but be upset, God purposed in me to PRAY for them, to intercede, to plead or make a request on behalf of another. So that’s were I am today. But I want to sing that old song “It’s me, it’s me, it’s me O’ Lord, standing in the need of prayer!”

Last week I had some really hard days. I cried myself to sleep 4 out of 7 nights. I miss my baby. Everyone around me that was pregnant at the same time as me are now making plans for their baby to come soon. The baby showers are all done. The rooms are ready. They are excited, and I am excited for them. But I’m packing up boxes of baby clothes to give away, or sell, or donate. It HURTS.

I wish so badly that I was getting ready to meet my sweet Elijah for the first time, and not seeing him wrapped up in a little baby blanket as the nurse is taking him out of the room for me to never see again on this earth. I so wish you could have seen him. He was such an angel. I would give anything to hold him one last time, or to kiss him, or sing to him. My sweet baby boy.

I think that I have finally come to terms with it all. I don’t like it, but I’m ready to say “okay God, it hurts, but please use me for the destiny that you have prepared for me”. We had a special speaker at church on Sunday. One of the things he said hit me like a slap upside the face. He was talking about thinking outside of the box. He said “when life gives you disappointments, think of it as God’s appointment!” Wow, I am truly disappointed right now, but how can God use this, use me for His appointment? I’m ready, I think. To take it to the next level.

When I birthed Elijah, God birthed a spirit of intercession even more than I had before. I hurt so bad, and I felt like I could pray to the heavens for someone because I knew hurt. I didn’t know their hurt exactly, but I new what it was like to have your heart ripped out of your chest.

As I type this, the tears are really flowing. I know that there are some of you right now that are hurting and I want you to know that you are not alone. God did not forsake you. I’m reminded of the scripture:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jer 29:11

You may be in the thick of things. You may be run down and not a soul knows it but Jesus. You may feel like what you are going through is not a big deal to anyone. But it is to God. He sees your every tear. He hears your cries for help. He hurts with you.

Be encouraged today. There is HOPE in Jesus Christ. Remember when life gives you disappointments, use it for God’s appointment.

I’ve been starting to work on a book for Elijah. Looking at the pictures of him are incredibly hard, but necessary. I wanted to post a few. Please pray for us, I will be pleading on behalf of you to the Father!!!

Love to all,

Marsha