WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS?

"Carleigh, let me have your Ipad. I haven't been on Instagram in a while and I want to check up on you".

In a matter of about 30 seconds she was handing me her Ipad and scurrying back to her room.  I secretly hoped that I wouldn't find one bad thing on this social media thing she likes to get on.

You see, my children know that at any time Jeff or I will come and take their electronics and check up on them.  They also know that if they change their browser history they are in worse trouble.

As I scrolled trough things she posted I was relieved...she did good. No poses of her making pouty lips.  Some kids call it duck face. She tried that once and I told her it looks like she wants to kiss a boy.  She deleted that photo immediately.  All of her friends were posting pics like that.  However, it took one little comment from me and she couldn't delete it fast enough.  Do I think that it will be like this forever...ummm NO.  I was her age once too.  She didn't want boys to think she wanted to kiss them. She was just doing what she saw all of her friends doing.

Back to my story....what I saw on her profile was fine.  What I saw on the profile's of some of the 6th graders that I came to know in Emmitt's class was disturbing to say the least.

I saw many photos of 12 year old girls in SMALL bikinis posing sexy. I saw OOTD (outfit of the day) which consisted of belly shirts and shorts that were barely there.  Not even a face in the pic...just her little 12 year old tween body.  I saw girls calling each other horrible names, and others sad over the mean words.

I saw boys in his class flipping the camera off numerous times, talking about being "sexy" (makes me cringe), saying F-you to others and calling each other names that I would never repeat.

I wanted to scream and have since then "WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS?"

If I were to look at the group dynamics of the class, I would probably say these are the popular kids. (If you believe in cliques).

I finally had to just stop looking at these pictures because I was sick to my stomach.  These poor kids.

Since I was once their age I know the pressures they have.  Pressures to fit in, be popular, pretty, wanted by other tweens.  Looking back on my life though I can honestly say those feelings didn't hit me until about age 14 NOT 12 year old 6th graders.

My humble opinion is that social media makes it really easy to be someone your not. Say things that aren't true and feel valued by the number of "likes" you've gotten.

My son had his first girlfriend this year.  By girlfriend I mean they texted each other and NEVER actually said two words to each other in real life.  He realized by about week two that having a girlfriend wasn't as much fun as he thought.  She always wanted to talk about her feelings.  He broke her heart.  Me being the crazy women I am just wanted to sit down with her and have a nice long chat about not growing up too soon.  But I refrained for his sake.

Electronics now have made it super easy for us to say and do things that we never would have the nerve to do in real life.  Which makes me worry for our sweet children.

For me acting like that, talking like that and behaving like that isn't even about being a "Christian".  It's just about trying to be a good person in general.  I believe that we are all born with a still small voice inside of us letting us know right from wrong. (Some call it the Holy Spirit).

I have made SO MANY (I cannot make those words large enough) mistakes in my life.   I used to wear tons of makeup (and humongo hair) to be pretty.  I wanted boys to like me and think I was pretty.  I too wore short skirts. I wanted other girls to think I was the nicest, smartest, most talented person they knew. Did I mention that my hair was huge? I digress.

Then one day something for me just clicked.  I no longer cared. My confidence came from within.  I knew who I was and if they didn't like me so what. I wasn't going to change to fit in. I stopped listening to who they thought I was and started believing in what God said I was.  I didn't want to be labeled popular but as someone who was nice regardless of any differences we had.

If you ask me there is nothing better or more desirable than a sweet man (such as my sweet hubby) who isn't afraid to tell others how he feels, leads by a Godly example, and is a wonderful father and provider.  I feel that women are much more attractive when they aren't showing their business. When they are great wives, encouragers, homemakers, and have enough self worth to know that they don't need men fawning over them.  They have just what they need in their spouses and what they cannot get from them God can provide.

My prayer for my children (and your children) is that they figure out who they are sooner than I did.  That they realize their self worth is not dependent on the number of boys (or girls) that say they like them.  That spewing 100 cuss words in a row doesn't make them any cooler than they were.  It just makes them look immature.

So I'm giving you a heads up.  If you are friends with my kiddos on Instagram or Facebook one day and you see something on there that might be a red flag, LET ME KNOW. PLEASE.  You know that saying it takes a village to raise a child? The older they get the more I understand that I cannot do this parenting thing on my own.  I need my husband, family and friends to come along side me and pour into my children what we have learned in life, the good, the bad and the ugly.

 I'm not gullible enough to believe that there won't be hiccups in raising them.  However, I believe that God will give me wisdom to parent them.  My bedtime prayer is this:

"Dear Heavenly Father, I'm asking you tonight to help me be a better parent to my children. Help my children learn at an early age that they are who YOU say they are and not what others say.  Give me wisdom when I feel that they may be going down a wrong path to help them get back on track. Help me to not just look out for my children but encourage other children as well to do what is right. Amen"

Thank you for your time.  I'm sure not all of you are going to agree with what I have just said.  Let's just disagree agreeably ok? Ha.

Marsha