He Has Such A Way With Words

I came across this gem a few days ago.  I had forgotten about it. My husband wrote it a year after our baby boy Elijah was born.  Such a sweet sweet man I have.  I thought you might like to read it.  Enjoy.


Well, i don't type stuff like this for everyone to see much anymore but today is a special day. This is going to be long, sorry, deal with it........ A year ago today i held for the first and only time this side of Heaven our baby boy Elijah Jake Hasty. It's weird even reading that myself right now.........I can't believe that Elijah was here and gone.........It was only one year earlier that we held his sister Mia and let her go too......how did this happen? Why? How could God ask this of us again? I wish I had all of those answers, but the truth is, it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't make the hurt less, or the pain less real. God chose for Elijah to be here with us a short time, way too short. I have felt every emotion you can imagine over the last year. That day a year ago seems far off sometimes and sometimes it feels like yesterday. I knew as i was holding Elijah's lifeless body that God was doing something deep in me, i knew that like the year before, i would never be the same. But, i also knew that i would blow it daily too and that i would let God down even though i promised Him the world that day and begged Him to take it all away. In that moment, I heard God say to me....."Do you trust me?" My response has always been of course i do. But, this time i said "i don't know?"

That day last year, i wasn't sure of much...................but as the day unfolded here is what happened. Family and friends began to come and call. There were many prayers and more tears. Marsha's sister came and didn't leave for one minute the entire time, she is a great Aunt to our kids. Thank you Angie for being who you are and for holding us and supporting us. I am thankful to know you. I love you very much. 2 Angels on earth made their way to the hospital: Randy and Lisa Burns- what you did for us over those 2 days will never, ever be able to be explained here on earth. You are 2 beautiful people and I pray that God surrounds you forever with His presence. I know there is no way to ever return the favor to you both so i will simply but humbly say Thank You. Throughout the day many people came and went. If i start to name some i will no doubt forget a few people and i don't want to disrespect anyone so for all of you that came before, during and after Elijah's birth i say Thank You to you too. My brother and I traded phone calls and about 1000 txt messages. I couldn't talk to him for very long because the tears would come and i hated to try and talk to him through the tears so we texted ALOT. There were all the wonderful, amazing, Godly people from what i just call Sheffield but some of you know as Sheffield Family Life Center......an AMAZING church that we were privileged and honored to call home for almost 9 years. If ever a church lived out what God called them to, it is you!!!! No way we could thank everyone from there either......Ps Willie....i love you soooo much. If you could see what my heart feels about you, then and only then you would understand how much you mean to us. My best buddy Jon called every little bit and always would start out praying for me. I will always be thankful to God that he brought Jon into my life........Jon, you are a good man. Thank you for your friendship and guidance. I hope that i am half the friend to you that you have been to me. There were continued calls, my mom and dad called several times....my mom was so precious and i am sure broke some speed limits to get here and my dad was heart broken to see us suffering so much. I have been blessed with fantastic parents. Mom, i love you so much and i am grateful God chose me to be your son. My co-workers were incredible and especially Miss Jill. Jill, you are a great friend. I could never thank you enough for all you have done for me. I am so thankful that i know You, Eric and Lilly. Whatever i can ever do for you guys, it's done! Others came and went and none of you went unnoticed or unappreciated i can assure you of that. Marsha's parents came and it was good to have them there for Marsha. I have great in-laws......i probably don't treat them as well as i should but they are great people who i respect and admire a lot. Tommy made his way there too and what can i say about Tommy? One of the best friends i have ever had. A good soul that the world could use more of just like him. Thank you Tommy for holding our hands through this......you have been better to me than i deserve and i say Thank You to you and that i love you buddy. Then comes my very best friend and the best sister i could have ever imagined to have. Genny....words could never explain what you mean to me. For 10 years you have been by our side on top of the mountains and in the deepest darkest valley. You held me up that day last year and days since then......it was an honor to share Elijah's birth with you......when asked to define friend, it is an easy one word answer to me.....Genny! You, Tony and your kids have been my family up here, i love you guys and bending as low as i can, i say Thank You and may God bless your days for the love and compassion you have shown our family………………… It's hard to even type this one but i press on.....Fel......hmmmm........still hard to type it. What can i say? There is something deep, way deep down inside my heart that could never be expressed in human language for what you mean to me. You held my son and dedicated him back to Jesus. You spoke such beautiful, powerful words through your pain for us. I wish more than anything i could remember all you said that day. Your words were precious to me. They were life giving to me. You carried God with you into our room. The atmosphere changed when you got there. It is a high honor to know you and to call you friend. I will live the rest of my days telling people what happened in that room and what you did for us. If God has ever let me see Him in the flesh, i have seen Him through you. Please know that i owe a life debt to you.......as long as i have breath, whatever you need from me is done! No questions asked! I love you Bro and i am so grateful that you, Dianna and your boys are in our life. We are all in fact doing life together. For that, i am eternally grateful.

Marsha ---- can i start by saying how beautiful your heart and spirit is. What could i have ever done to deserve someone like you? I am so sorry we have had to walk down this path.....you don't deserve to carry this pain. But, you have handled it with more grace and dignity than i thought was humanly possible on this earth. I wish i could take all of this away from you. I wish you could wake up tomorrow and this didn't happen. I know it’s not possible, but i ache to try and take this away from you. Since we are here and since we carry what we carry, there is NO-ONE i would want to carry this with but you. God is not going to waste our pain; He will not leave this unredeemed. On that day, when all is stripped away, the pain will melt away as we run into Elijah's arms and we see that everything is ok. God will be smiling i am sure at how you handled what He asked us to carry. Besides all the obvious things, the one huge reason that i get upset when i think about all of this is, Elijah was deprived of having the best Mommy here on earth........I wanted to be his daddy soooooo much, but when i see you with our kids, i know one day they will look back and say very simply and with all honor...."We had the best Mom." If they were giving that award out, it's yours! Don't ever let the enemy of our souls or someone on this earth EVER tell you that you are anything other than what God says about you..........I am forever yours, on the mountain and through the valley, i got your back babe. I love you. We will plant Hope and when all is said and done, God will say: Well done Jeff and Marsha, you have carried what I asked of you, welcome home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emmitt, Carleigh and Delaney------daddy loves you and i want you to know that i will keep trying everyday to be all that you need from me. You have shown incredible resilience and resolve. Elijah is waiting on you........You are still his brother and sisters......you get to see him one day. God will never, ever give up on you, don't give up on Him!

So, where does that take us? Let me go back to that room 365 days ago. Tremendous pain and heartache, God asking me if i trusted Him and my answer was "i don't know?" All of a sudden in the middle of the room, my son lying in his crib waiting for me to release him back to God. I looked around the room, surrounded by people that love me more than i could imagine, surrounded by flowers, surrounded by gifts. I heard God whisper to me........"I sent these people to love and hold you until I can." At that moment, i knew it was all going to be ok. God didn't change......He loves us. He knew what it was like to lose a son and through the pain and with tears running down my face, i said "God, I trust you."

Thank you to all of you that have been a part of our journey. I will say to you what I said to my kids……..Don’t give up on God, He is not going to give up on you! It really is pretty simple, God=Good, devil=bad.

Many Blessings to you today, the day that Elijah Jake Hasty celebrates his first birthday in Heaven……….one day, I am going to celebrate his birthdays with him…..it’s a promise.

Jeff